Now it is time to sleep otherwise I would write something in my blog.

I can just say that today was the first day of the work in Lidl as a real personal and not a trainee and I was such a pain in teh ass for those who worked with me. lots of mistakes and long ques....

It will get better.

I had the average of 12 articles scanned in a minute, today it was 13.5! :)

It is still considered as improvement, eller hur?

I have a lot to write about the trip to France and Belguim but I need to make up my mind before writing.

Soon it will come.

I am in such a peace...

It feels good to be married but I am sure it would have felt much better if my HUSBAND was here or I was there, I mean we were close.

Hey WorldI love my man!

I feel lucky...

Hello World!

I am back in Sweden but half of me is left in Tehran.

We got married on Friday May 28th of 2010 and I flew back the next morning...

I feel so good.

It feels just right.

We were happy, our parents were happy and all the family were happy too.

Every body was smiling and it felt like it was the right time.

Shahab's father was smiling kindly with his caring eyes.

Now I am a merried woman.

:)

I wish I could say he has always been there without any exception.

.

.

.

What am I supposed to do in the life that according to "standards" I have already lived one third of it?

Do I regret it more if I don't get any children or if I don't do things I wanted to do?

Am I good enough to be a mom?

Do we have the right to bring some one in this world?

Is it me and you who decie and has the responsibility?

Where is God? What is he/she/it doing?

.

.

.

Forget about God, help me find my values.

Who am I?

I wish I was 20, though I know it wouldn't help.

I, I, I and more I.

I want to know more.

These last days or even weeks have been kind of productive. lagom amount of stress makes me be more concentrated.

Havnig a couple of balls in the air is fun but some times I just feel like locking my arms in each other on my chest and watch the glass balls fall and break.

Lidl, Clean Expert. Hiking Club, Studifrämjandet, Skandinavistik 3, Examens Arbete, Migrations Verket, Bostad Västerås, Tele 2, Telenor, Kåren, International Committee, Friends, Family, Trip to Iran, Trip to France, Birthdays not to forget, Capoeira, Tango and Käralek!

Nu är det lördag igen.

Vi gick till Lövudden och firade Constances födelsedag.

Det var KALLLLLTTTT!
Det blåste också!

Nu har jag KAOS i huvudet och i rummet. De passar varandra oftast.

Jag är förkyld och fick hoppa skriftlig tentamen igår på morgonen.

Nu är det lugnt men jag har mycket att ordna.

mejlet till Eric och ett till Christina är skickat. Examens arbete är fortfarande kvar. blanketter till studiefrämjandet är kvar. Nomin och Sams certifikat ansökan är kvar. "Fröken Juli" är kvar!

Tomas Tranströmer kallar mig och vill att jag läsa hans böcker och skriva om honom minst två sidor för att visa till Magnus eller Anna Carin nästa torsdag.

Jag ska träffas Leif Andersson och prata om Clean Export på samma dagen som jag ska inlämna Tomas Tranströmer. (Ha ha det låter roligt)

I morse tänkte jag skriva om faktumet att:

en riktigt vän är nån som man behöver inte oroa sig om man blir tvungen att sitta på tåget, bussen eller flygplats terminalen för flera timmar. För att man kan vara säkert att det finns alltid nått att prata om eller sam-tänka på!

Jag är glad att jag har riktiga vänner.

Tack och tusen tack.

I just found out that I wanted to write about some of my senses taht becoime so strong some times. specially when I breath deeply from my stomach for a while.

One night I was walking home. I was taking teh same almost every day way but nothing was as always.

I could hear small pieces of snow, sliding down from roofs or tree branches on the melting ice, I could smell the perfume of the man who parked tha car and went in maybe 5 minutes before when I had just turned to the street and could see him from far distance. I could smell the food being cooked in teh kitchen of the hous on the left side of the street.

Then I got to see in the eyes of two people in their houses. I really did not mean it. I was just looking around, they had big windows and the rooms were kind of dark and the street was light of the lamps and we looked at each other at the same exact moment and I said to my self: "How frightened can they get if they see taht some stranger just looked in my eyes while I was sitting in my sofa in my home!", "Fan, It is frightening!", And then I could feel the gentle cold wind blowing across the empty parking in front of the hospital. It was touching my chicks and it smelled like snow. (I think snow smells!)

Any way, it also happens sometime in Kåren when I am working. People come in and I just know that they smell different. Once I asked a class mate if he had changed hi perfume and he got so shocked and said: "No, but my deodorant is new!" and he kind of freaked out, why should I know his smell. I don't know. It is just like when some people easily notice it if some one has got a haircut and some simply don't get it. I don't think does who get it try to do any thing. It is just the way it is. Maybe they keep a file for each person and update it any time they meet and when they meet again their brains just starts comparinga nd analysing them. My brain does it so much with the smell of olika människor.

It also keeps a copy of their moods. If I see some one in a bad mood and the next time he/she shows up with a good mood, I just get it as a feeling of relief and tvärtom.

Tiredness, frustration and stress just pop up. and I can not ignore them.

Now it is time for Capoeira. Zarah is not feeling well and she does not think any body can help her.

I hope I could do more. I really like her. She has good friends. I hope she feels close enough to them to get some help. I know that Christian can be a good help in these kind of situations but I know on the other hand that he has so much to do for th school. Why should always everything happen at the same time?

Clover is moving soon, Maryam is coming here for a visit and I have got two weeks left to fix the thesis and send it back to Erik.

Summer Job is still the huvudrubriken!

Life is not so long! Lets Enjoy it.

Love and peace to you all...

Mah Gol

Coffee

+ Stress

+ Capoeira Training

Being Awake the whole sunday night and starting the week sleepy!

Good Luck Mahgol

It has been such a long time I did not write in the blog.

It has been because of the fact my internet was not working.

Today it has been a day of doing things that was supposed to be done long ago but it is still good.

Last week was such a week. full of different activities. and a 48 hours of being awake and work!

It is amazing how much our bodies can take.

I like pushing the borders and it always suprises me.

Everybody is so busy with L I F E!

Shahab has Norouz holidays and he has got some time to sleep, play guitar and study for IELTS and I am so happy about it.

Clover is stressed because of moving and all the exams we have ahead. I understand her.

Anna is thinking about joining us to Iran.

Romain is learning Persian from Melika on Fridays in teh library.

Melika is worried about future. Summer job? Visa? Money?

Christian is studying hard. It is so nice to see him taking everything so serious. :) I hardly get to see him. Yesterday he and Kally came to kåren for a coffee when I was working and I went out the bar to hug him for a short second. It is always so calming with him.

Hubert was off for a week and now he is back after two days of hard work in F... Ica.

Trainings in Capoeira are goooooood. Yesterday we were almost the whole time on our hands trying to do makaka. :)

In the weekend I had Jackie and Teddy here and it was so nice with both of them. I love dogs. they are just amazing. I huged Teddy for almost one hour and slept after 48 hours of not sleeping and working and hiking and ... and it felt so amazingly good. Then came Jackie to pick him up so we had to get up. :)

I have bought a new pair of Jeans and I love them. They are so much like what I used to have when I was younger. :) I love the colour and the form.

Afshin is worried about future. PHD, IRAN, Amin, ...

Constance has got the problem with sleeping back! I hope it does not get worth with the long days that are on the way.

Nomin and Sam finished their thesis finally and got their results so I have to ask for their documents by post. This is what I have to do soon.

I got the upportunity of working with Soheila in Växjö for three mounths but I have to start next week and it just is not gonna work with all the exams and seminars that I have ahead.

I had some useful meetings with Christina Kääria, Eric Söderberg, Erik Lindhult and VSIF.

I got to work with Margarytta on my thesis to finish it easier and sooner and we are both happy about it. I am going to meet her tomorrow after Capoeira while she is packing for her jobbtrip. :)

I think I have covered almost all...

I will be back with more good news

Love you all

Mahgol

Nu har jag biljetten till Iran i fickan och förvarnade!!! familjen om det också! :)
Det känns underbart. Så länge ska Clover, Romain och Jackie följa med. Men Kanske Constance, Rodde och Amanda hoppa in också. Vi får se.
Jag bad min morbror som bor i USA om vi kunde stanna hos honom in Tehran i hans lägenhet som är ledig men idag nekade han. Men det gör inget.

Imorse var shahab lite arg på mig och jag tycker inte om honom när han är arg. :)

Jag tror att jag vet varför är han arg, jag var upptagen igår och fick inte svara mobilen när han ringde mig två gånger, men det är lugnt, det gör inget. Såna grejer kommer å hända. Man får inte bli arg så lätt.

Idag har jag jobbat mellan 8 och 13, men i natt hade jag svårt å sova! Jag sov bara mellan 12:30 och 3:30 och sen var jag vaken tills jag gick till jobbet.

I morse fick alla lyssna på Capoeira musik på Kåren! :)))) Jag skrevt till Jens, Christian och Clover om det för att det var så spontant och roligt. Ingen vågade å klaga om det! :) Bara Nikka kom till sist och bytte musiken med "I'm a Barbie Girl!" Ha ha ha...

Förkylningen är tillbaka! Hela kropen gör ont. Idag har jag gjort ganske mycket men det känns som nåt viktigt saknas! Jag tappade lapparna som jag hade skrivit typ "to do" listan på och det kändes tomt i huvve!

Nu känner jag mig kallt och halsen ömmar. Näsan rinnar och ögonen ser inte klart.

Nu ska jag gå hem, göra ett glas varm mjölk med honung till mig själv och njuta av varma rummet!

Bilden är tagits av Tomas nånstans nära fläckebo!

Snow Snow and again Snow!
Now I feel like writing but the svenskfilm session starts soon and I am in the other building so I have to run to get to the room where dear Tanja shows the movie to us in Swedish. Arn is the name of the movie I think.

I want to write about my feeling which are so strong these days, my senses taht are working extra sensetive and about how I think and see future but the internet thingy still has problem.

I will try to do it soon.

It has been such a long time I have not posted anything here.

The main reason is that I did not have internet at home and the second was that I had to conclude somethings and it never happens without sacrificing some thing and today I did sacrifice swimming with friends and sat in front of my computer and borrowed Shahab's internet.

There are a lot of things prompting in my mind and at the same time I tell to myself:

Cool down, no worries, there is no need to stress.

I talked with my dad, my dad is my hero Clover wrote about him in her blog. . . Well, I was trying to link it to her post but did not work ... anyway there is no need for evidance and the whole point is that you get the feeling how important can your father's opinion be, no matter how much you insist of proving the opposite.

I think it was when I got 14 or something like that when I first stood in front of my father and told him I think he is wrong and from that point I just started to do what I thought was right and kept on doing things in my own way but always I have been feeling that I am not getting approval from him and now after almost 14 years from then, my father just talked to me for 3 or 4 minutes because I called him because I had missed him and it just made a chaos in me.

He said he thinks I don't know what am I looking for and I have lost the target. I am just wandering around and moving aimlessly.

I shared it with Shahab and he said that he agrees with my father.

It burns under my skin even when I write it down...

I thought about it so much. I talked with some friends.

I got head aches of thinking "HARD" :) and the result is:

"I am egoistic!"

I know what I am doing but it does not make sense in their eyes and I don't bother myself explaining about it since I believe they don't agree and at the end of the day, I don't care.

Yes that is true. I don't care. I am not happy saying this but it looks like that.

I am living a good life. Right now and just here.

Some exercise for your brain:

This is a famous problem, attributed to Albert Einstein.
There are 5 houses sitting next to each other, each with a different 
color, occupied by 5 guys, each from a different country, 
and with a favorite drink, cigarette, and pet.  Here are the facts:

The British occupies the red house.
The Swedish owns a dog.
The Danish drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The owner of the green house drinks coffee. 
The person who smokes "Pall Mall" owns a bird.
The owner of the yellow house smokes "Dunhill".
The owner of the middle house drinks milk.
The Norwegian occupies the 1st house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who owns 
a cat.
The person who owns a horse live next door to the person who 
smokes "Dunhill".
The person who smokes "Blue Master" drinks beer.
The German smokes "Prince".
The Norwegian lives next door to the blue house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who drinks 
water.

The question is: Who owns the fish?

Good luck!

Missing some body is both painfull and beautiful. Which side is heavier, I don't know. What I think is that they always company each other. Pain and Beauty I mean.
And
When I miss him, I miss myself in his presance.
. . .

Today in the morning I had a very nice breakfast with Afshin. Scramble egg with toast bread.

We went to Arosfortet with the new students. It was fun like always. Though I felt a little bit stupid! I could not remember the rooms I had solved before. :)

Then I went to the city with Constance and Sergey from Greec and bought two swimming suits from Stadium, then I fixed my Tele2 contract and we went to Elektra. There we met all the expected and some unexpected friends. Nice to see all of them.

There were 22 people in the cinema and 18 o them were our gang! :)

Then we walked to Calle Pa Spangen and had a nice time fika ing!

:)

I walked home, watched "Great Expectation" the new version with Shahab and Alireza in Shahab's room. Then I fixed my plan for tomorrow to go to the Linea sim skola, Capoeira, Melika and Bjorn, Ice Skating, Bowling and Tango.

Clover was so tired today as the last three days I had met her.

The French girl who lives in Surahammar is very nice and warm, I enjoyed every body's company today. Andreas is very nice.

Jackie was not shy any more, talking to others. Batu and Anna look a little bit closer than before. Maybe something is happening... Who knows?

Hubert asked me about the reason we called the International Presance Exhibition "his", after almost 2 mounth from the time we had the opening! And then he mentione dtaht Nikki had said this project had been the most chaotic one he had participated in,

I think he has been evaluating his activities during last weeks and he has not been happy about it.

I could do nothing making him feel better since I think it was something inside and any insissting from my side could give a negative effect since Hubert is so sensative and smart.

I called Behrang, Elham and Edris. Some calls I had to make and was postponding for a long time.

I did write some paragraphs in my thesis last night. Mostafa is coming tomorrow and Farahnaz's room will no longer be the calm productive place.

Shaghayegh sent me some pictures of the family gathering in her place, I have missed them all.

Life is going on and it feels good to be!

Now I feel like sharing a part of my thoughts we discussed with Clovie yesterday.

These days I am struggling with the idea that it is impossible that we live just once.

Life is far more beautiful, deep and valuable that can be over just by a bullet in the head shot from a gun in the hands of a fool.

Or to be over just by some stupid viruses or a mobile without battery or credit on it...

I think I have lived more than once before this life and I don't belive this is my last life,

At least as I told Clover this is what makes me feel more relax and calm.

There is no way we can do everything, not only everything but niether can we do most of the things we would like to do.

Yesterday I went to school by bus companying the Norwegian lady who slept in my room the night before because she had not got her room from bostad vasteras. I spent almost 4 hours on net, chatting with Shahab and trying to fix some work we had to do together.

Then I went to city with the lady to show her where she could pay her rent and how to find bostad vasteras and ...

It was so funny, I dared to speak Swedish when I was with her.

Then we went to my place by bus again, picked her stuff from my room, called a cab and she went to her own apartment in Vitmaragatan.

after this I walked to school, joined the University tour with Digo and I think I kind of pissed him of because I talked so much and did not let him talk! I am sorry about it. During the tour we went to the silent room and met Catherin, the schools prist, and I heard she said, come and try the silence meditation on Tuesdays noon if you are brave enough and this is my weak point. So I think I am going to do it. She says if we calm down our body then there will be a storm in the brain. I want to experience it.

Then we had the meeting for the Mingle Evening and then we went to Capoeira.

Hard training with Daniel!

Then I waited antill I got the Capoeira show in the school fixed and then walked with Christian to his parents home.

Then I met Clover on her way back from Hulphers helping Cihan with his thesis. we walked downtown talking, she missed her bus and we went to Calle Pa Spangen. got tea and talked.

On the way back to the bus stop we met Tobias!

I told Clover that either we have strange friends wandering in the snowy, empty, cold streets of Vasteras, alone, in the middle of the week or Vasteras is the small home.

Any way, I can follow my heart after Capoeira. It is easy to do so.

I felt like staying outside the training room though I was the first one who got ready wit th clouthes.

I felt like walking with Christian and I felt like taking teh way towards Hulphers and I felt like going again to Downtown with her and ...

Then I found out about something:

People I walk on their right side, are people I tend to support and take care of and those who I walk on their left are those who I think can support me and I feel like I will be safe opening my guards. Cool, ha? :)

Today I am going to be with Fimmi Anna for around 4 hours when Deria is sick and Hubert needs to be in school.

So no IKEA with students and no fika with Nikka! :)

I got a big Birthday presant from my mom today in my account! :)

and well, I have to fix the meeting for the hiking club, the project with Shahab should be finished as soon as possible, Thesis ofcourse, Mingel night and ...

I'd better get to work NOW!

Today I have a post of three parts:

baking, Mathematics, another good day

so which one should I start with?

I start with another good day:

Yesterday was another good day, it was kind of warm here (just -4 to -7) :)

I met some friends in Karen, first time in Karen in 2010 and then I had lunch with Christian in an Italian restaurang where I found an aluminium tread in my food :) and then we worked on Chrsitians booklet untill we felt like they are going to kick us out and then we went back to karen and tried to finish teh booklet before my meeting but as we did not succeed, we went to the IC meeting together and it was a good time to push him a littl ebit to become a fadder and he looked interested, so I met my lovely friends on the meeting, some I had really missed and we planned the introduction week, then I went to cinema with Constane and Jackie and we watched Sherlok Holmes, don't watch it if you have other options :) It was not as bad as Old Dog something that I watched with Elham and Afshin but still why not Hunger instead of these?

Then we went to Strike Bowling place with Constance nd met Christian, Henrik and Kalle there, we continued to Circus and there met some friends too, Yes we live in a village! :)

Then I walked back home while they were still staying.

I ate ice from trees and enjoyed it as always :)

bad for those who don't dare to do it in this slean weather in Sweden. They have to see gray and brown snow to feel how yummy these snows are:)

Now we move to the Math thing:

give a exercise to your brain:

if 2+3=10

7+2=63

6+5=66

8+4=96 then

9+7=?

And the baking thing:

Mix 1/2 tea spoon cinemon with 1 and 1/2 tea spoon Baking Powder, 1/4 tea spoon salt and 300 gr flour

cream 120 gr butter with 250 gr sugar

beat two big or three small eggs well and then add 3 tea spoon vanilla

add 150 cc Creamfresh or 100 cc yoghour to the eggs.

add the butter and suger mixture to the egg mixture

now put the mixer in low speed and add flour mixture, 80 cc milk and butter mixture in three phases.

put it in the prewarmed oven 175 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes.

try to put it in the middle of the oven. :)

You can put a little bit oil or butter in the dish before pouring the mixture in it or you can easily use oily papers underneeth.

So.... taht was it fortoday

enjoy your day wherever you are and whatever you do :)

This is just so good in Persian we will see maybe I translated it or maybe if some one is so interested, google translate, though I accept no responsibilities about the outcome:

:)

وقت شناسی‌ !

در مراسم تودیع پدر پابلو، کشیشی که ۳۰ سال در کلیسای شهر کوچکی خدمت کرده و بازنشسته شده بود، از یکی‌ از سیاستمداران اهل محل برای سخنرانی دعوت شده بود.

در روز موعود، مهمان سیاستمدار تاخیر داشت و بنابرین کشیش تصمیم گرفت کمی‌ برای مستمعین صحبت کند.

پشت میکروفن قرار گرفته و گفت: ۳۰ سال قبل وارد این شهر شدم.

انگار همین دیروز بود.

راستش را بخواهید، اولین کسی‌ که برای اعتراف وارد کلیسا شد، مرا به وحشت انداخت

به دزدی هایش، باج گیری، رشوه خواری، هوس رانی‌، زنا با محارم و هر گناه دیگری که تصور کنید اعتراف کرد.

آن روز فکر کردم که جناب اسقف اعظم مرا به بدترین نقطه زمین فرستاده است ولی‌ با گذشت زمان و آشنایی با بقیه اهل محل دریافتم که در اشتباه بوده‌ام و این شهر مردمی نیک دارد.

در این لحظه سیاستمدار وارد کلیسا شده و از او خواستند که پشت میکروفن قرار گیرد.

در ابتدا از اینکه تاخیر داشت عذر خواهی‌ کرد و سپس گفت که به یاد دارد که زمانیکه پدر پابلو وارد شهر شد، من اولین کسی‌ بود که برای اعتراف مراجعه کردم

نتیجه اخلاقی‌: وقت شناس باشی

Some people are just so important in our lives and we love them but as they are close and reachable we don't see and feel their value untill they get a little bit hard to get a hold of.

Melika and Bjorn moved to another place today.

I cried but I did not let her see it.

She had always been there for me,

with all the messes she was in, she was there with a smile and her smart comments and norm breaking ideas.

And then came Bjorn, with his good heart and kind, gentle attitude.

They cleaned the room and we took a picture in Melika's box under her bed!

I thank you for all your smiles, hugs and good words.

I thank you for your friendship.

And I wish you both the best luck ever!

He left at the begining of october and it took 100 days to rach to this explotion time...

Maybe he is right, who knows?

I was fascinated by some one and I asked a friend's opinion about him/her. This friend of mine is doing nothing but analysing and he just said: "He/She is so selfish and selfcentered."

Maybe that is why I felt so close to him/her.

Bjorn took these pictures from me yesterday. I wanted to have a picture with some friends who are in teh same buidling but all of them were sleeping at 10 in the evening de to some sleeping di orders we all suffer from these days.I like these photos. :)

Thank you min vän...

So today was another BirthDay!

Now it is over and I feel like writing down who called or sent me a message here in my blog.

Farideh, Ebi, Mitra, Maryam, Shahab, Anahita, Ellie, Dag, Rebecca, Shahryar, Giti, Mahya, Ariana, Taraneh, Elham, Yasaman, Shadi, Mohammad, Sally and Lorena called me,

Shaghayegh sent me an ecard,

Armin and Ahmad send me a message on mobile,

Hamed sent me a message on Facebook before I close it permenantly,

Andrea, Bernd, Nina, Mareike and Connie send me a message on StudiVZ,

Clover, Nasrin, Sam, Petr, Josef and Zita sent me an email.

Then Mehrnoosh cought me online and said happy birthday :)

Mariam and Mahya had left me messages online too.

Bjorn and Melika brought me to fika in Punkt and we had a great dinner togther.

Afshin and Baharak bought me a presant yesterday in clous ohlson and gave me a card which it is written: "Har forsokt att ringa..." on it. :)

I received a sweet email from a friend and felt like I want to share it with ones who I thought about on my birthday and I just sent it to them, it turned out to be a list of 125 people. :)

I think Birthday is a day like other days just that we have an excuse to do things that we don't do normally. Like giving presants to ones who we like or writing cards or saying words that we don't see any point to say in other days.

I would love to share two very sweet texts I received from Clover and Zita, I thought alot if I should post it here or not, but I decided taht these are mine now and I can do whatever I want with them.

It is not me and I don't mean saying I am like this, I just want to show how we can be sweet and say good things always but we are so in special occasions like ones Birthday.

:)

and what I want to add is:

1- I am thankful for my life, family and friends.

2- I will come back with a more serious post about birthday later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday my dearest friend!

Take good care of yourself and be true to your heart in 2010, you are a beautiful person and you make so many of us feel happy and at home.

Skött om dig, och tänk på vad du vill i livet.

Kram kram kram

Clovie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi my dear!

Happy Birthday for you!

In my imagination I just go and say it personally.

I miss your closeness.

Hope this birthday will bring you all you want, clear decisions about what to do with who, where to go with who. You are so kind, I think that characteristic of you is not appreciated on its place. Because if we would have more people like you, the world would be a totally different, better place.

I am so glad to know you, and grateful for life that you call me friend.

Love you:

Zita

PS.: The drawing atteched comes with big heart, lots of emotions, small drawing knowledge : )