It has been such a long time I have not posted anything here.

The main reason is that I did not have internet at home and the second was that I had to conclude somethings and it never happens without sacrificing some thing and today I did sacrifice swimming with friends and sat in front of my computer and borrowed Shahab's internet.

There are a lot of things prompting in my mind and at the same time I tell to myself:

Cool down, no worries, there is no need to stress.

I talked with my dad, my dad is my hero Clover wrote about him in her blog. . . Well, I was trying to link it to her post but did not work ... anyway there is no need for evidance and the whole point is that you get the feeling how important can your father's opinion be, no matter how much you insist of proving the opposite.

I think it was when I got 14 or something like that when I first stood in front of my father and told him I think he is wrong and from that point I just started to do what I thought was right and kept on doing things in my own way but always I have been feeling that I am not getting approval from him and now after almost 14 years from then, my father just talked to me for 3 or 4 minutes because I called him because I had missed him and it just made a chaos in me.

He said he thinks I don't know what am I looking for and I have lost the target. I am just wandering around and moving aimlessly.

I shared it with Shahab and he said that he agrees with my father.

It burns under my skin even when I write it down...

I thought about it so much. I talked with some friends.

I got head aches of thinking "HARD" :) and the result is:

"I am egoistic!"

I know what I am doing but it does not make sense in their eyes and I don't bother myself explaining about it since I believe they don't agree and at the end of the day, I don't care.

Yes that is true. I don't care. I am not happy saying this but it looks like that.

I am living a good life. Right now and just here.