If you stand at a corner of the street or just near the entrance of your building, (if you don't have a big lamp there), and look at the sky, watch the birds, smell the flowers, eat snow or just take some deep breath you will be considered as crazy and weird

BUT

as soon as they see a light between your fingers, you have a very good excuse:

You are just smoking!

we humans are strange!

Hej...
Here I am sitting at Janes, sorry Batus desk with a nice view of snow from the window, enjoying my tea with a bite of Tobrelone. The last two days has been busy in Lidl. 18 hours of work in two working days. But the pauses I take with tea in my hand and biscuit/chocolate thingy in my pocket looking at the snow and cars sliding on icy ways has been so relaxing.
I am working on Incubators again. It sounds still interesting. Maybe I should have never stopped working on them. This topic has been in the back of my mind for the last two years.
Back to work
Love and Peace to you and me
p.s. picture from womans health

It smells like flower in my room.

My mom is sleeping on my bed.

It feels so amazing having her here.

She is just calmness and strenght and it just flows in me when she is beside me.

I don't know if all parents are the same, but I can say it about mine.

It has been so wonderful the last 8 days with her. it has gone so fast...

She will leave Sweden tomorrow . . .

And I will be alone here again. Life will be the same as past.

We are going to watch a ballet show in Stockholm and visit Firouzeh in Täby.

I got a fixed number so that my family can call me easier and with a more rational price.

Lets hope that the weather is good today in Stockholm...

Aha one more news, I am not a fadder any more.

Not an official one, nut I will try to help new students as much as I can.

Love and Peace to you and my mom and my family...

Sooooo

It has been long ago since I wrote.

Finally a calm vening followed by a good sleep and waking up by Expert's call about comhem abonemang and a morning of watching some dokumentärs and sience programmes.

Later todaz I will swim and work and make a good dinner for myself.

I t is amazing how we get higher performance when there is more demand from life. I think I should be always asked or expected to do something not to get lazy and be productive.

The exam was not like those old time exams that I was 100 percent sure about all teh eanswers but with help of Neda jag klarade mig.

Momi is coming here to visit me and I am soooo happy about it. I have already started planning her stay and contacted my friends who I wish her to visit them or they want to meet her.

It is cold outside but to keep in warm inside does not have anything to do with temperaturen!

Love and peace to you all and to myself

It got cold and I felt so deeply alone,

again.

.

.

.

"friend", "old friend", "good friend",

shined like a star in my dark night.

.

.

.

I called your name,

you turned and looked at me. . .

There was nothing in your kind eyes.

No doubt,

you are friend,

you are old friend,

you are good friend.

but,

It is another down like the other downs, which I rolled or climbed or just fell on my own.

I do it again and again. The call I mean and the hope and disappointment which follows with no hesitation.

It is not supposed to be any company in these ups and downs.

It is life and it is my life.

He who is chasing me with his eyes all the time is sitting just over there feeling the same probably as I do about the one.

I hear his voice and there is a big sorrow in my heart that makes my eyes wet.

No single day has passed without thinking about him and wishing to see him.

How is it possible that I pick his voice among so many people talking and shouting in so many different languages.

It is so cold here.

Life is strange and so is love...

Soon I will be off to France.

I can not stop waiting to see and hug my mom. God I have missed her.

It is also a great pleassure to meet my aunts and cousines.

The Norway trip was amazingly good! Though I twised my ankle and it still hurts.

There was another Stochastical Proccess test and I think I wrote this one correct too but we will see if I face the red "not solved" sign from dear Anatoly.

I still feel good about sharing with Jane and it is a little bit tight with Constance but it is so good to have her around specially when she is so tidy and clean though I would never guess! :)

Next trip Croacia!

Looks like a perfect place to go in April. Hopefully, Czech guys will follow too. Maybe Sam can come as well. would be perfect. By that time Shahab must be here too.

From travel mates to Norway I got to know Walter and Bruno more and I really like them.

Okej I dont feel like writing more. Lets keep more for later.

Love and hope to all

It has been long go since I wrote. I have not written since I moved to my new place.

This is a new experience, sharing with a friend.

I think itwould be hard if Jane was not so nice and flexible and easygoing.

I enjoy everymoment of it.

I am regreting why did I not do it sooner.

I always believed that we are herd animals or in nicer words, we need company, maybe that is why deppression is so huge! People are getting mroe and more egoistic and "needing thei own space!".

Why don't poor people living in a small house with several other families get deppressed? :)

Anyways.

Life is getting mroe and more on its track!

After the first test, the first hiking and the visa which got issued finally.

Melika is back and Constance will be soon.

Clover has things is control and I am eating in a good routine after three years of eating garbage!

Thanks to Jane!

This semester my ears miss Capoeira live music my shoulders miss tapps from capoeiristas in trainings and my palms miss high fives from Jens and others.

My eyes miss their eyes locked on mine in Roda.

I miss the training pains in my muscles and the restlessness after hard trainings.

Tango is cancelled too.

It feels much more like an ordinary "LIFE"!

Sacrificing what you like for other things you like to have in future.

The room is basically furnished from what others did not need anymore and presants I have received.

If you are curious about life at Lidl! I should say that as always it is so much dependant on people for me!

If Anders is happy, Marcus is smiling, Edgar is joking or Pernilla's eyes shine, Stefan's eyes don't have bags under them, I am happy. Anna is away to Thailand, Patrik is sick after the vacation he got and Linus is too new to be ble to say something about him.

but he is so friendly and sweet as well.

I try to be honest and friendly. It is hard with the language. Maybe on of the sweetest times at work is when you work in the shop to make it tidy and get rid of the extra packages then you have some time to talk with each other or when you work in the storage room or count the cashier but even then, I am too tired to kepp up with Swedish and they are too tired to talk in English.

Anyway it is like always I look in them and see kids! Playful and happy.

i specially like Anders so much. I think he is a very good human being. He should be very playful in his world. I don't know how I came to this conclusion so don't ask! :)

I have heard from several people that Swedes look nice but they talk behind your back alot and kind of ruin your reputation but I am not even worried about it because I just don't believe in that being worried helps. I am just myself and the worst taht can happen is loosing a job but I hope I can keep friends and be a good person.

The governmental ellection is close and I have the right to vote for our state! It is funny all of them have somethings that are good and some points that are not so it is not taht easy to decide but I hope to come to a conclusion soon.

I had four plants that I loved most among my plants and I gave them away to Tanja, Christian and Krista!

I gave two Orkides to Tanja to thank for her kindness and generousity. I gave one of those that we planned with Sam in 2007 to Christian because I like him so much and I wanted him to have something that has got a lot of love from me and I gave the other one to Krista and Stefan because they moved in and I think they deserve having my lovely plant.

Mitra is coming to Europe on 23rd and I am going to visit her hopefully between 4th and 12th of October in France. I am so excited about it. I was hoping that Shahab can follow as well but it does not look like his visa will be issued by then.

Aniko is back in Sweden, looking for job.

These days everybody is kind of searching for a stability and the political parties have used it a lot to do advertisement for themselves.

I have the first gym training tomorrow at seven and it will be a long day. So need to get some rest makes me say bye and wish you sweet sweet dreams.

Love and Peace to all

Maybe today was one of the most beautiful days in last three weeks and I stayed teh whole day at home wondering about so many things that there was actually no need to take up today...

I should not rush in anything and it is so much against my nature but when I get stressed I can not avoid it.

Mohammad Nouri died and my mom said nothing about it when we talked.

We went out yesterday with my "friends" and there was a girl that all of them knew her but me!

They had had dinner together and ... and none of them said a word to me.

I flet like they don't want my company and I kind of understand them.

Even today I did not go for the dinner I was invited to fast jag

hade inte lovad att jag går.

Sun is setting at qvarter past eight and it is shining through the living room in Tanja and Liza's apartment and we just finished dinner and are waiting for the tea.

They talked with Tanja's mom and grandmo and it is so nice to listen to a language that I can not pick even one word!

I wish I ad a camera, I could take good pictures from

Tanja and Liza.

Laughing without any reason and Liza talking with me and coming to my room without any real reason is a ood sign of getting integrated in their small cozy family.

Locky is going around smelling at everything, leaving pälls overallt.

Clover comes back tomorrow, Afshinis in Stockholm, I talked to Firouzeh, I tried to call Sam several times and family stuff in Tehran are kind of getting more and more complicated not for me but for me!

Does not make sense for you? sorry I can not explain m

ore! This part is one of those parts I write for myself and myself.

I gonna miss this place when I move out! I wish they had an extra room i could rent and live with them.

By the way after the two dreams I had two nights in a row about my uncle Ali, I tried to call him but he did not pick up. Miss my family...

next week is a day ful of exams and work and meetings...

Let c how am Igonna make this through.

Love and peace to me and to you and to all the world.

May God bless us in these nice period of time.

I just checked my blog if I have written about the lady in yellow who paid for my parking and did not expect any thing in return and yes I had done it.

It might feel desperate but such people and such things have become rare!

yesterday finally I saw some smile on the face of my colleague Fredrik.

I got a BIG, better to say huge! Squash from Pelle who is working in the farm me and Clover also have a piece of land and Te whole last week I have been wondering how nice some one can be and this some one is Tatjana, my former teacher and current friend.

She is so pure, friendly, nice and ... but I have been thinking how hard has it been to know her. I never thought she was bad or mean but could never guess she is so nice niether.

She is shy and not so talkative.

I am staying in their apartment and she has moved to her daughter's room and left her room to me. They wait for me to wake up and have breakfast and she does not move any thing I put somewhere in case I wanted to have it there or ....

It is just soooo nice and I don't know if I deserve it or not.

I talked with Siavash after a loooong period and it felt so good to see old friends are always close friends even if you don't meet or talk for a long time.

The interview is getting even closer than we expected it and we are looking forward.

Yesterday we went swimming with Constance, Julian and Liza and it was so good to be in motion again!

:)

This morning the sun was shining and promised Liza to go out but now it realy looks ready to rain but one should keep ens ord!

:)

Love and peace to you all

MahgoL

p.s. I found these pictures on Saba Soltanzadeh's page. We used to go to the same class when I was 8!

it is not so hard to find me, almost the same face and be revayati the same brain! :)

In Sweden, summer is like a long shock!
It is soon over.
Constance is back, Clover will be back, Tanja is back, school is getting a new life from the students who are getting to do re-exams in the middle of the August and the staff who are getting ready to receive new students.
The wind, early and earlier sunsets and the special smell in the air!
The rain coat hanging to my bag as a security shield :)
I read a nice sentence today:
Birth and death are not in your hands but you can choose to LIVE in between these two.
I am in a constant attempt to get closer to my colleagues in Lidl, for it is the only way I can enjoy working and that is one of the requirements of enjoying life.
This is a good one too.
Var så goda!
:)
p.s. it means: forgive the others, not just because they deserve your forgiveness but also because you deserve this calmness.

Today was a long day, started at quarter past 6,

good breakfast with Jel and Matthias,

driving them to station and saying goodbye,

Sundinska, cleaning Bjorn's car,

picking up my posts, getting a present from Janas and Sofie (how sweet of them),

taking Sina to "UNI", he ended up going to meet the former owner of my appatment to be!

Driving home, getting some papers,

checking my account, YES!!!! the salary is there!

Paying some depts,

calling momi, Maryam, Mahya, Baba, Shahab's maman, Shahabam! :)

going to radiology to tke a picture from my wrist,

going down town to have my contract with mimer!

Here is the thirst sweet part of the story, first one was the presant from Sofie and Jana,

second one was taht Sina came with me though he had a lot to do in the university,

and the third:

my card did not work at the parking automat, in the middle of the town,

I had no coins,

the service with text message was not working ither,

There came a lady, paid for her parkinga nd went to put the ticket in her car, when she came back she asked me if I still am struggling and I said yes, ...

She gave me 12 SEK which was enough for one hour and I just felt like meeting an angel.

I did not know how to thank,

I wante dto et her number and thank her in a proper way later but ... She really did not expect any thing....

It felt like, heaven!

I got my contract signed with mimer, met Shahab by chance in the city and then did fika with Sahar and Shahan in the Caffe by svartan in storagatan!

went to work and got my contract extended for the next three mounths,

worked till 8, got stock in the burik till a quarter to nine,

met Bjorn, went to ICA did some shoping,

Bjorn drove me to Clover to get my keys to my bicycle and then I just walked back "home",

talked to khale Anahita about the trip to France in October and ...

spent the rest of the time, on phone or in the mailboxes...

Tomorrow I am going to vacation for three days.

Jackie will pick me up from School at nine and we drive all the way down to Smaland.

When I come back, Mana and others have already moved to my new apartment in Folke...

I have to clean clothes for tomorrow because the laundry room of the building has been booked till next tuseday and it is not that warm that in case of washing with hand they get dry by morning...

we will c!

catch you later.

Don't get stressed

Enjoy life,

Love and Peace to you all

Mah Gol

Now it feels home, more than anytime. Tanja's apartment, I mean.

I have cooked, baked and took a hot bath. It is so funny, I do not dare to fill the bath tub since I think about water shortage in warm lands. don't laugh at me it is true. It is the image I have from my childhood.

Some one once told me that it really does not waste much more water than taking a shower but I certainly do not believe it.

I miss Maryam and Mahya. I want to talk to them. I want to feel my father's persance, concentrating on a book or an article of the news paper in a peaceful evening at home.

Matthias and Jelske are on their trip which at a point will be in Stockholm 28th of july.

I had planned to go to south with Jackie on one hand and on the other hand it would be amazingly wonderful to see these two lovely friends.

We will c.

There are still alot of things not finished. It looks like life is a bunch of done and not done tasks, happy or sad of some of those past ones and excited or stressed about does coming up.

Tomorrow I will be working again, one day off on Friday and a very busy weekend in Lidl.

Love and Peace.

Mahgol

Finally with help of Na'im, Shahab, Afsheen, Sina, Farahnaz and Mana, I have moved all my stuff to Tanja's house and storage room and am planning to move to the new place, wherever it is in the begining of September.

I miss my Shahab and my family.

Constance is missed so much. I am happy that Clover could make it to France and also paied a visit to her. I could feel her loneliness through the lines she was writing in skype.

A lot of paper works waiting for me today and tomorrow before the work.

Did I not tell you that everything gets better sooner or later?

Love and Peace to you all

Mahgol

P.S. I was nagging about life and Sina said something thought full, any way, there is no reason not to enjoy your day.

It should be hormones.

I am angry. I get angry with those who I feel they like me though I am married and even more angry to those who behave different since I am married, not that they have become rude but more respect and less emotions makes a huge different, at the same time I feel like jag är slut bara för att jag är gift though I know it is not like that.

and the FACT that

I have chosen to live in world of feelings and emotions pops up and waves every now and then.

Actually I had no choice, the face of reality and rationality is too horrible for me.

Lurar jag mig? Jag bryr mig inte!

I want to study, practice Capoeira and learn German.

...

When I think more I should say that it is not the only thing that I fool my self about according to others.

I believe that we live and have lived more than once.

I believe those who we feel good or bad about is a lot depending on our previous lives.

Ibland tänker jag att Christian hade varit min son eller bror i livet för det här livet eller förför...

jag tycker om honom, saknar honom och tänker på honom ofta, men det är inte på en sexualitet sätt. Jag vill bara se honom och känna att han är där och mår bra. Det kan vara ovanligt och obekant för honom det är därför jag inte berättar det för honom.

At the same time there are many things I am waiting that they get solved and this waiting which is always there...

I will write more, maybe soon with a pleasant piece.

Life becomse beautiful and nice soon.

:)

Peace and happines to you all.

Soooo

I am back.

Now I am sitting at the table of Tanja's appartment. Yes table and not desk, it is not a language mistake. I ave set my laptop on their dining table. :)

I worked four hours in Lidle today.

Lucky is running around, and is happy ta

ht I came home early today.

There has not been a single night that I came home earlier than 23. It has been so busy. the worst thing is that. I was not settled down. I wanted to be in Sundinska with others and I had to be here with Lucky.

And I did not know that they have wireless internet and t felt even more isolated.

I talked with Mohsen and he said that Ewa is reading my blog from Poland and I was so surprized.

Melika and Bjorn went to Iran today to be more precise I should say that they are taking off in half an hour.

I already have their car to return some stuff to Parisa and Mansoureh and return the skirt Melika has bought for her mom and get more banana cartons from Lidl for moving.

Aha te relationship between picking up the car and returning those stuff was that , they left the stuff in teh car since I had the car to the key but not the appartment.

We just found out that Batu's car does not have the THING to pull the släp for moving the heavi stuff.

I think I gonna be moving to the appartment in Viksäng.

I called the guy and we decided that he stays at home tomorrow and I go to c the place.

I want a light appartment with a big window.

We will c.

I did not call Clover on Friday, I did not know if I could go or not till it got too late.

I feel a little bit lost, taht is because I do a lot of things in Lidl but it is just paied job and it does not add anything to my.

a little bit language and public relationship skills but ...

I am wondering if I should get the full time job at Lidl for four years and stay in Sweden or should I invest more on the second master I want to start and try to get in a Doktorand position.

I am also very worried for my visa application. If I dont get it ontime, I would have no job in August with Lidl. That is the worth which can happen.

...

Sam had an accident in Germany. I should talk to him to get sure he is fine.

I think I have missed some of my friends' birthdays because of the F***** Facebook.

I am not going to go back to Facebook. I AM NOT DOING IT. NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

One of the things taht irritates me a lot is the scene whre you sit in a bus or train or bus stop or train station and what do you see?

All the people around are playing with their mp3 players or mobiles.

It can happen that you sit beside your callsmate or nighbour but you don't notice since you are too busy with your mobile.

We avoid each others eyes. We are afraid to be approached.

I still have to write about the trip to France.

I would love to write about my feelings to different people.

I will write about my co-workers in Lidl.

my story is to be continued...

Love and peace from 33 degree Sweden

Back in Västerås!

Last Wednesday was a nice day. I stayed at home till 3;50 and packed for a three day trip.

I got the bus to Tanja's appartment. met her daughter and cat and had fika with them and enjoyed their kind company. She is such a nice woman but she is super shy and she does not know how good she is.

I am going to take care of Lucky, their cat during July and August that they are in Belarus visiting their family.

Sudabeh showed up later to pick me up but we had just started fika'ing, so Tanja invited her up. We sat for a while and then picked up Clover from her new office. :)

We helped Sudabeh to buy soil and went to our little piece of land. It has been mostley Clover who has been over there. I had no time, getting married in Iran and being in Romain's sister's weeding in France and getting started to work in Lidl.

It was such a pleasant feeling to see all what we had planted had grown.

Bijan drove me to Växhuset to go to the beloved Capoeira training and meet Angelica and Sandra who were there already before mi to check how our Capoeira group is.

After the training which was mostly music and hand stands, I went to ICA with the little supermen, my favorite trainer and the little Zarina.

Then I went to station and got the train to Stockholm. from there, I got the metro and went to Skanstull station and met Edris and Lia who had come to pick me up at 10:15 in the night which is very sweet of them.

Edris had made dinner and seing him in love was soooooo sweet.

Lia is a fantastic girl. Smart, Beautiful and even more Photogenic. She is ind and you can easily see it in her eyes.

We had a cozy evening before we go to sleep. The whole house was full of candles and the smell of liliums. It reminded me of my mom, aunt and grandmo. fantastic!

next day poor Edris and Lia went to language class and work and I just slept till 9 and then had tme to have breakfast and watch a documetary about some african animals from SVT with the fasat internet they had and contact bostad västerås about my accomodtion for the next semester that you already know is the aktuell problem.

Then I took a shower and got ready before Edris comes to pick me up.

We went to some cheap shops in the neighbourhood and I found some good stuff for my husband :) but decided not to buy to wait for him to come here and buy them by himself.

Then my love called and we talked while waiting for Lia to come and we went to have lunch with one of their funny friends Shahram.

Afterwards we went to Myrrorna and bought a candle holder and a vase for Lia. I loved them and am very happy that could fight myself and give it away.

then we watched a small football match and then had a cozy afternoon in W.C. :)

W.C. is the name of a pub-bar near their place. :) in södermalm.

then we went home and I packed and they came with me to the metro station and then I went to Firouzeh near Täby near Stockholm.

It was so sweet to c Irfan and Firouzeh.

We had a very nice dinner and I showed them our pictures and we talked a little bit and then it was already time to sleep.

In the morning, we went to the hospital for Firouzeh's last chemiteraphy session after a very nice breakfast.

Before going to Karolinska hospital, we picked up one of the most amazing women I have ever met, Hayedeh! She is absolutely lovely, funny and lifeful.

(Now from my window I can see fireworks which must be held in the big square of Västerås, it should be because of Swedish princcesses wedding which is tomorrow)

We went around in Red Cross that Firouzeh goes and helps every now and then and I bought a small candle holder for our home. It feels good to buy small beautiful special things when I think about "us".

I got a lot of useful stuff from Hayedeh. She said she does not need them any more and almost all of them were completely new.

Then Firoueh drove me to MÅrby centrum and from thee I came directly to T-Centrallen in Stockholm and came to Väasterås.

In Västerås I got the bus to home and then went to ICA Haga to get my bank card and finally my internet banking is working.

Shahab Darvish and me became members of Natilus again for one year with a special offer.

Tomorrow I have to work and the room is still kind of a Chaos though I have cleaned and done the plants and re organized them.

I have been listening to the Swedish Radion the whole afternoon.

WOW, I have a view of moon from my window and it goes so fast.... I closed one of my eyes and I saw it dissappeared behind a tree... It is so amazing with Swedish nature. Today the weather temperature dropped like 8 degrees from 20 to 12 in less than one hour.

:)

OK it was such a chaotic post. Now I will make it even more Chaotic by just putting a point and that is it

.

Salam

This has been long since I had time to sit at my desk and think and write!

The summer job in Lidl is going "well". It is very hard with the language. I am so afraid of making mistakes. It is not something typical me but it is mostly because my colleagues are mostly young people and they talk so fast and they need me to understand what they say and I just can not and then I feel so bad. It gets a lot of energy from me. They are nice and helpful but I still make mistakes and my mistakes leads to long queues of customers standing there looking at their watches.

About the special offers we have, I can not keep them in my mind and when they ask I have to ring and a coworker should run to the cashier and answer me and I can imagine it should be hard for them.

Angelica is getting radio therapy and her hair is growing again. We had a cozy night with her and her sweet friend, Sandra. Angelica complained about her sickness and she said that if there is a God he should be so cruel. I could not say anything to calm her down but that maybe if she looks deep inside, being angry and complaining about everything just does not help and does not make her feeling better but believing in life after and God who can and know everything feels just better. Her friend Sandra is a very interesting, kind, deep person. I think I will continue meeting her and watching movies with her.

The bicycle I had borrowed from Ebi stopped working when I and Jane (two not slim girls) sat on it! :) I pumped the back wheel and got myself to Angelica's friend but on the way back home at 12 o clock, under heavy rain, the tire just came out from the tube, or wait, wise versa. :) Any way I just parked it in Skalbergs gatan and walked back home. I had to call Shahab Darvish to tell him where I was, because it was dark and cold and I was not taking the normal every night way since I was going home from Sandra's place. But finally every thing went well.

On Friday, Saturday and Sunday we had a mini Capoeira event finished by a Batizado. I got the chance to have lunch with Zarina and Eurico on Friday before going to work and had to miss the training on Friday but on Saturday and Sunday I was there full-time.

Zarina made our Brazilian guests lunch and I made them dinner on Saturday. I made gheime bademjoon ba morgh, which is an Iranian food. I managed to make food for 5 men in one hour and a quarter and it became very good.

And the breaking news in that I got the yellow-green corda. I could not believe it. It was such a big surprise. It is true that I have been prioritizing Capoeira to many of my other businesses but I had not improved so much if you compare me with others but in comparison with myself I had improved a lot. I hugged and thanked Obelix since it felt so good and it was a big confirmation on what I had been thinking about Capoeira and a big motivation to move forward the yellow one which might take years to get but there will be a day that I write about it with a picture of the masters and professors who do the test on me. I promise. :) Christian and Zarah had to work all the weekend so they could not come to the event though they loved to be there. I know. And I personally missed Christian a lot because Zarah could come at least for a short time but Christian was there just on Friday. Any way it is over and there will be the big event next April. Looking forward towards that one. Clover was also busy with her personal life and did not show up during the whole three days but I got to talk to her for quite a long time after I finished working yesterday on the way back home. It was a little time of synchronizing the information :). She is happy with Matz and I am happy for her.

I have missed Bjorn and Melika and unfortunately I missed their company since they were here for watching World cup matches with the guys but I was at the Capoeira event. I called her to meet her in town yesterday but she was sleeping and missed my call and they when we called her again it was too late to get in town and join us for Fika but I talked to her for quite a while today morning. She is planning the trip to Iran with Bjorn. Lovely... I have been lucky with my friends so far in life. :)

Ebi and Farideh... I don't know what is going on, she is or maybe they are angry at me but I don't know if it is because I got married and did not tell them or because I did not bring the lamps from Iran... any way I tried to go there and called them several times but they were not welcoming. Today I received an email from Ebi that he wants to talk to me that I answered sure I will be happy to talk. We will see. Any way this is not the first time they are angry at me without telling me why.

Jane was here just for a couple of hours but I am going to meet her again in Stockholm when I go to visit Edris and Lia and Firouzeh.

Constance is being missed so often. I wrote to here yesterday.

Lorena is coming to Västerås. Such a big surprise. Looking forward.

I still have not had the chance to talk to Sam since I have come back from Iran. Hopefully soon.

Where should I live from September on? I have got some offers from bostad Västerås but I am wondering about somewhere in a family. Maybe Irsta? Depends on the bus timing.

These were what I had in my mind ready to be written but I still have to write about France trip and Romain

And on top of all Our Life (me and Shahab) that I am not really sure if I want to write about it on my blog.

We will see

Love and peace to you all

Mahgol

Now it is time to sleep otherwise I would write something in my blog.

I can just say that today was the first day of the work in Lidl as a real personal and not a trainee and I was such a pain in teh ass for those who worked with me. lots of mistakes and long ques....

It will get better.

I had the average of 12 articles scanned in a minute, today it was 13.5! :)

It is still considered as improvement, eller hur?

I have a lot to write about the trip to France and Belguim but I need to make up my mind before writing.

Soon it will come.

I am in such a peace...

It feels good to be married but I am sure it would have felt much better if my HUSBAND was here or I was there, I mean we were close.

Hey WorldI love my man!

I feel lucky...

Hello World!

I am back in Sweden but half of me is left in Tehran.

We got married on Friday May 28th of 2010 and I flew back the next morning...

I feel so good.

It feels just right.

We were happy, our parents were happy and all the family were happy too.

Every body was smiling and it felt like it was the right time.

Shahab's father was smiling kindly with his caring eyes.

Now I am a merried woman.

:)

I wish I could say he has always been there without any exception.

.

.

.

What am I supposed to do in the life that according to "standards" I have already lived one third of it?

Do I regret it more if I don't get any children or if I don't do things I wanted to do?

Am I good enough to be a mom?

Do we have the right to bring some one in this world?

Is it me and you who decie and has the responsibility?

Where is God? What is he/she/it doing?

.

.

.

Forget about God, help me find my values.

Who am I?

I wish I was 20, though I know it wouldn't help.

I, I, I and more I.

I want to know more.

These last days or even weeks have been kind of productive. lagom amount of stress makes me be more concentrated.

Havnig a couple of balls in the air is fun but some times I just feel like locking my arms in each other on my chest and watch the glass balls fall and break.

Lidl, Clean Expert. Hiking Club, Studifrämjandet, Skandinavistik 3, Examens Arbete, Migrations Verket, Bostad Västerås, Tele 2, Telenor, Kåren, International Committee, Friends, Family, Trip to Iran, Trip to France, Birthdays not to forget, Capoeira, Tango and Käralek!

Nu är det lördag igen.

Vi gick till Lövudden och firade Constances födelsedag.

Det var KALLLLLTTTT!
Det blåste också!

Nu har jag KAOS i huvudet och i rummet. De passar varandra oftast.

Jag är förkyld och fick hoppa skriftlig tentamen igår på morgonen.

Nu är det lugnt men jag har mycket att ordna.

mejlet till Eric och ett till Christina är skickat. Examens arbete är fortfarande kvar. blanketter till studiefrämjandet är kvar. Nomin och Sams certifikat ansökan är kvar. "Fröken Juli" är kvar!

Tomas Tranströmer kallar mig och vill att jag läsa hans böcker och skriva om honom minst två sidor för att visa till Magnus eller Anna Carin nästa torsdag.

Jag ska träffas Leif Andersson och prata om Clean Export på samma dagen som jag ska inlämna Tomas Tranströmer. (Ha ha det låter roligt)

I morse tänkte jag skriva om faktumet att:

en riktigt vän är nån som man behöver inte oroa sig om man blir tvungen att sitta på tåget, bussen eller flygplats terminalen för flera timmar. För att man kan vara säkert att det finns alltid nått att prata om eller sam-tänka på!

Jag är glad att jag har riktiga vänner.

Tack och tusen tack.

I just found out that I wanted to write about some of my senses taht becoime so strong some times. specially when I breath deeply from my stomach for a while.

One night I was walking home. I was taking teh same almost every day way but nothing was as always.

I could hear small pieces of snow, sliding down from roofs or tree branches on the melting ice, I could smell the perfume of the man who parked tha car and went in maybe 5 minutes before when I had just turned to the street and could see him from far distance. I could smell the food being cooked in teh kitchen of the hous on the left side of the street.

Then I got to see in the eyes of two people in their houses. I really did not mean it. I was just looking around, they had big windows and the rooms were kind of dark and the street was light of the lamps and we looked at each other at the same exact moment and I said to my self: "How frightened can they get if they see taht some stranger just looked in my eyes while I was sitting in my sofa in my home!", "Fan, It is frightening!", And then I could feel the gentle cold wind blowing across the empty parking in front of the hospital. It was touching my chicks and it smelled like snow. (I think snow smells!)

Any way, it also happens sometime in Kåren when I am working. People come in and I just know that they smell different. Once I asked a class mate if he had changed hi perfume and he got so shocked and said: "No, but my deodorant is new!" and he kind of freaked out, why should I know his smell. I don't know. It is just like when some people easily notice it if some one has got a haircut and some simply don't get it. I don't think does who get it try to do any thing. It is just the way it is. Maybe they keep a file for each person and update it any time they meet and when they meet again their brains just starts comparinga nd analysing them. My brain does it so much with the smell of olika människor.

It also keeps a copy of their moods. If I see some one in a bad mood and the next time he/she shows up with a good mood, I just get it as a feeling of relief and tvärtom.

Tiredness, frustration and stress just pop up. and I can not ignore them.

Now it is time for Capoeira. Zarah is not feeling well and she does not think any body can help her.

I hope I could do more. I really like her. She has good friends. I hope she feels close enough to them to get some help. I know that Christian can be a good help in these kind of situations but I know on the other hand that he has so much to do for th school. Why should always everything happen at the same time?

Clover is moving soon, Maryam is coming here for a visit and I have got two weeks left to fix the thesis and send it back to Erik.

Summer Job is still the huvudrubriken!

Life is not so long! Lets Enjoy it.

Love and peace to you all...

Mah Gol

Coffee

+ Stress

+ Capoeira Training

Being Awake the whole sunday night and starting the week sleepy!

Good Luck Mahgol

It has been such a long time I did not write in the blog.

It has been because of the fact my internet was not working.

Today it has been a day of doing things that was supposed to be done long ago but it is still good.

Last week was such a week. full of different activities. and a 48 hours of being awake and work!

It is amazing how much our bodies can take.

I like pushing the borders and it always suprises me.

Everybody is so busy with L I F E!

Shahab has Norouz holidays and he has got some time to sleep, play guitar and study for IELTS and I am so happy about it.

Clover is stressed because of moving and all the exams we have ahead. I understand her.

Anna is thinking about joining us to Iran.

Romain is learning Persian from Melika on Fridays in teh library.

Melika is worried about future. Summer job? Visa? Money?

Christian is studying hard. It is so nice to see him taking everything so serious. :) I hardly get to see him. Yesterday he and Kally came to kåren for a coffee when I was working and I went out the bar to hug him for a short second. It is always so calming with him.

Hubert was off for a week and now he is back after two days of hard work in F... Ica.

Trainings in Capoeira are goooooood. Yesterday we were almost the whole time on our hands trying to do makaka. :)

In the weekend I had Jackie and Teddy here and it was so nice with both of them. I love dogs. they are just amazing. I huged Teddy for almost one hour and slept after 48 hours of not sleeping and working and hiking and ... and it felt so amazingly good. Then came Jackie to pick him up so we had to get up. :)

I have bought a new pair of Jeans and I love them. They are so much like what I used to have when I was younger. :) I love the colour and the form.

Afshin is worried about future. PHD, IRAN, Amin, ...

Constance has got the problem with sleeping back! I hope it does not get worth with the long days that are on the way.

Nomin and Sam finished their thesis finally and got their results so I have to ask for their documents by post. This is what I have to do soon.

I got the upportunity of working with Soheila in Växjö for three mounths but I have to start next week and it just is not gonna work with all the exams and seminars that I have ahead.

I had some useful meetings with Christina Kääria, Eric Söderberg, Erik Lindhult and VSIF.

I got to work with Margarytta on my thesis to finish it easier and sooner and we are both happy about it. I am going to meet her tomorrow after Capoeira while she is packing for her jobbtrip. :)

I think I have covered almost all...

I will be back with more good news

Love you all

Mahgol

Nu har jag biljetten till Iran i fickan och förvarnade!!! familjen om det också! :)
Det känns underbart. Så länge ska Clover, Romain och Jackie följa med. Men Kanske Constance, Rodde och Amanda hoppa in också. Vi får se.
Jag bad min morbror som bor i USA om vi kunde stanna hos honom in Tehran i hans lägenhet som är ledig men idag nekade han. Men det gör inget.

Imorse var shahab lite arg på mig och jag tycker inte om honom när han är arg. :)

Jag tror att jag vet varför är han arg, jag var upptagen igår och fick inte svara mobilen när han ringde mig två gånger, men det är lugnt, det gör inget. Såna grejer kommer å hända. Man får inte bli arg så lätt.

Idag har jag jobbat mellan 8 och 13, men i natt hade jag svårt å sova! Jag sov bara mellan 12:30 och 3:30 och sen var jag vaken tills jag gick till jobbet.

I morse fick alla lyssna på Capoeira musik på Kåren! :)))) Jag skrevt till Jens, Christian och Clover om det för att det var så spontant och roligt. Ingen vågade å klaga om det! :) Bara Nikka kom till sist och bytte musiken med "I'm a Barbie Girl!" Ha ha ha...

Förkylningen är tillbaka! Hela kropen gör ont. Idag har jag gjort ganske mycket men det känns som nåt viktigt saknas! Jag tappade lapparna som jag hade skrivit typ "to do" listan på och det kändes tomt i huvve!

Nu känner jag mig kallt och halsen ömmar. Näsan rinnar och ögonen ser inte klart.

Nu ska jag gå hem, göra ett glas varm mjölk med honung till mig själv och njuta av varma rummet!

Bilden är tagits av Tomas nånstans nära fläckebo!

Snow Snow and again Snow!
Now I feel like writing but the svenskfilm session starts soon and I am in the other building so I have to run to get to the room where dear Tanja shows the movie to us in Swedish. Arn is the name of the movie I think.

I want to write about my feeling which are so strong these days, my senses taht are working extra sensetive and about how I think and see future but the internet thingy still has problem.

I will try to do it soon.

It has been such a long time I have not posted anything here.

The main reason is that I did not have internet at home and the second was that I had to conclude somethings and it never happens without sacrificing some thing and today I did sacrifice swimming with friends and sat in front of my computer and borrowed Shahab's internet.

There are a lot of things prompting in my mind and at the same time I tell to myself:

Cool down, no worries, there is no need to stress.

I talked with my dad, my dad is my hero Clover wrote about him in her blog. . . Well, I was trying to link it to her post but did not work ... anyway there is no need for evidance and the whole point is that you get the feeling how important can your father's opinion be, no matter how much you insist of proving the opposite.

I think it was when I got 14 or something like that when I first stood in front of my father and told him I think he is wrong and from that point I just started to do what I thought was right and kept on doing things in my own way but always I have been feeling that I am not getting approval from him and now after almost 14 years from then, my father just talked to me for 3 or 4 minutes because I called him because I had missed him and it just made a chaos in me.

He said he thinks I don't know what am I looking for and I have lost the target. I am just wandering around and moving aimlessly.

I shared it with Shahab and he said that he agrees with my father.

It burns under my skin even when I write it down...

I thought about it so much. I talked with some friends.

I got head aches of thinking "HARD" :) and the result is:

"I am egoistic!"

I know what I am doing but it does not make sense in their eyes and I don't bother myself explaining about it since I believe they don't agree and at the end of the day, I don't care.

Yes that is true. I don't care. I am not happy saying this but it looks like that.

I am living a good life. Right now and just here.

Some exercise for your brain:

This is a famous problem, attributed to Albert Einstein.
There are 5 houses sitting next to each other, each with a different 
color, occupied by 5 guys, each from a different country, 
and with a favorite drink, cigarette, and pet.  Here are the facts:

The British occupies the red house.
The Swedish owns a dog.
The Danish drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The owner of the green house drinks coffee. 
The person who smokes "Pall Mall" owns a bird.
The owner of the yellow house smokes "Dunhill".
The owner of the middle house drinks milk.
The Norwegian occupies the 1st house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who owns 
a cat.
The person who owns a horse live next door to the person who 
smokes "Dunhill".
The person who smokes "Blue Master" drinks beer.
The German smokes "Prince".
The Norwegian lives next door to the blue house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who drinks 
water.

The question is: Who owns the fish?

Good luck!

Missing some body is both painfull and beautiful. Which side is heavier, I don't know. What I think is that they always company each other. Pain and Beauty I mean.
And
When I miss him, I miss myself in his presance.
. . .

Today in the morning I had a very nice breakfast with Afshin. Scramble egg with toast bread.

We went to Arosfortet with the new students. It was fun like always. Though I felt a little bit stupid! I could not remember the rooms I had solved before. :)

Then I went to the city with Constance and Sergey from Greec and bought two swimming suits from Stadium, then I fixed my Tele2 contract and we went to Elektra. There we met all the expected and some unexpected friends. Nice to see all of them.

There were 22 people in the cinema and 18 o them were our gang! :)

Then we walked to Calle Pa Spangen and had a nice time fika ing!

:)

I walked home, watched "Great Expectation" the new version with Shahab and Alireza in Shahab's room. Then I fixed my plan for tomorrow to go to the Linea sim skola, Capoeira, Melika and Bjorn, Ice Skating, Bowling and Tango.

Clover was so tired today as the last three days I had met her.

The French girl who lives in Surahammar is very nice and warm, I enjoyed every body's company today. Andreas is very nice.

Jackie was not shy any more, talking to others. Batu and Anna look a little bit closer than before. Maybe something is happening... Who knows?

Hubert asked me about the reason we called the International Presance Exhibition "his", after almost 2 mounth from the time we had the opening! And then he mentione dtaht Nikki had said this project had been the most chaotic one he had participated in,

I think he has been evaluating his activities during last weeks and he has not been happy about it.

I could do nothing making him feel better since I think it was something inside and any insissting from my side could give a negative effect since Hubert is so sensative and smart.

I called Behrang, Elham and Edris. Some calls I had to make and was postponding for a long time.

I did write some paragraphs in my thesis last night. Mostafa is coming tomorrow and Farahnaz's room will no longer be the calm productive place.

Shaghayegh sent me some pictures of the family gathering in her place, I have missed them all.

Life is going on and it feels good to be!

Now I feel like sharing a part of my thoughts we discussed with Clovie yesterday.

These days I am struggling with the idea that it is impossible that we live just once.

Life is far more beautiful, deep and valuable that can be over just by a bullet in the head shot from a gun in the hands of a fool.

Or to be over just by some stupid viruses or a mobile without battery or credit on it...

I think I have lived more than once before this life and I don't belive this is my last life,

At least as I told Clover this is what makes me feel more relax and calm.

There is no way we can do everything, not only everything but niether can we do most of the things we would like to do.

Yesterday I went to school by bus companying the Norwegian lady who slept in my room the night before because she had not got her room from bostad vasteras. I spent almost 4 hours on net, chatting with Shahab and trying to fix some work we had to do together.

Then I went to city with the lady to show her where she could pay her rent and how to find bostad vasteras and ...

It was so funny, I dared to speak Swedish when I was with her.

Then we went to my place by bus again, picked her stuff from my room, called a cab and she went to her own apartment in Vitmaragatan.

after this I walked to school, joined the University tour with Digo and I think I kind of pissed him of because I talked so much and did not let him talk! I am sorry about it. During the tour we went to the silent room and met Catherin, the schools prist, and I heard she said, come and try the silence meditation on Tuesdays noon if you are brave enough and this is my weak point. So I think I am going to do it. She says if we calm down our body then there will be a storm in the brain. I want to experience it.

Then we had the meeting for the Mingle Evening and then we went to Capoeira.

Hard training with Daniel!

Then I waited antill I got the Capoeira show in the school fixed and then walked with Christian to his parents home.

Then I met Clover on her way back from Hulphers helping Cihan with his thesis. we walked downtown talking, she missed her bus and we went to Calle Pa Spangen. got tea and talked.

On the way back to the bus stop we met Tobias!

I told Clover that either we have strange friends wandering in the snowy, empty, cold streets of Vasteras, alone, in the middle of the week or Vasteras is the small home.

Any way, I can follow my heart after Capoeira. It is easy to do so.

I felt like staying outside the training room though I was the first one who got ready wit th clouthes.

I felt like walking with Christian and I felt like taking teh way towards Hulphers and I felt like going again to Downtown with her and ...

Then I found out about something:

People I walk on their right side, are people I tend to support and take care of and those who I walk on their left are those who I think can support me and I feel like I will be safe opening my guards. Cool, ha? :)

Today I am going to be with Fimmi Anna for around 4 hours when Deria is sick and Hubert needs to be in school.

So no IKEA with students and no fika with Nikka! :)

I got a big Birthday presant from my mom today in my account! :)

and well, I have to fix the meeting for the hiking club, the project with Shahab should be finished as soon as possible, Thesis ofcourse, Mingel night and ...

I'd better get to work NOW!

Today I have a post of three parts:

baking, Mathematics, another good day

so which one should I start with?

I start with another good day:

Yesterday was another good day, it was kind of warm here (just -4 to -7) :)

I met some friends in Karen, first time in Karen in 2010 and then I had lunch with Christian in an Italian restaurang where I found an aluminium tread in my food :) and then we worked on Chrsitians booklet untill we felt like they are going to kick us out and then we went back to karen and tried to finish teh booklet before my meeting but as we did not succeed, we went to the IC meeting together and it was a good time to push him a littl ebit to become a fadder and he looked interested, so I met my lovely friends on the meeting, some I had really missed and we planned the introduction week, then I went to cinema with Constane and Jackie and we watched Sherlok Holmes, don't watch it if you have other options :) It was not as bad as Old Dog something that I watched with Elham and Afshin but still why not Hunger instead of these?

Then we went to Strike Bowling place with Constance nd met Christian, Henrik and Kalle there, we continued to Circus and there met some friends too, Yes we live in a village! :)

Then I walked back home while they were still staying.

I ate ice from trees and enjoyed it as always :)

bad for those who don't dare to do it in this slean weather in Sweden. They have to see gray and brown snow to feel how yummy these snows are:)

Now we move to the Math thing:

give a exercise to your brain:

if 2+3=10

7+2=63

6+5=66

8+4=96 then

9+7=?

And the baking thing:

Mix 1/2 tea spoon cinemon with 1 and 1/2 tea spoon Baking Powder, 1/4 tea spoon salt and 300 gr flour

cream 120 gr butter with 250 gr sugar

beat two big or three small eggs well and then add 3 tea spoon vanilla

add 150 cc Creamfresh or 100 cc yoghour to the eggs.

add the butter and suger mixture to the egg mixture

now put the mixer in low speed and add flour mixture, 80 cc milk and butter mixture in three phases.

put it in the prewarmed oven 175 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes.

try to put it in the middle of the oven. :)

You can put a little bit oil or butter in the dish before pouring the mixture in it or you can easily use oily papers underneeth.

So.... taht was it fortoday

enjoy your day wherever you are and whatever you do :)

This is just so good in Persian we will see maybe I translated it or maybe if some one is so interested, google translate, though I accept no responsibilities about the outcome:

:)

وقت شناسی‌ !

در مراسم تودیع پدر پابلو، کشیشی که ۳۰ سال در کلیسای شهر کوچکی خدمت کرده و بازنشسته شده بود، از یکی‌ از سیاستمداران اهل محل برای سخنرانی دعوت شده بود.

در روز موعود، مهمان سیاستمدار تاخیر داشت و بنابرین کشیش تصمیم گرفت کمی‌ برای مستمعین صحبت کند.

پشت میکروفن قرار گرفته و گفت: ۳۰ سال قبل وارد این شهر شدم.

انگار همین دیروز بود.

راستش را بخواهید، اولین کسی‌ که برای اعتراف وارد کلیسا شد، مرا به وحشت انداخت

به دزدی هایش، باج گیری، رشوه خواری، هوس رانی‌، زنا با محارم و هر گناه دیگری که تصور کنید اعتراف کرد.

آن روز فکر کردم که جناب اسقف اعظم مرا به بدترین نقطه زمین فرستاده است ولی‌ با گذشت زمان و آشنایی با بقیه اهل محل دریافتم که در اشتباه بوده‌ام و این شهر مردمی نیک دارد.

در این لحظه سیاستمدار وارد کلیسا شده و از او خواستند که پشت میکروفن قرار گیرد.

در ابتدا از اینکه تاخیر داشت عذر خواهی‌ کرد و سپس گفت که به یاد دارد که زمانیکه پدر پابلو وارد شهر شد، من اولین کسی‌ بود که برای اعتراف مراجعه کردم

نتیجه اخلاقی‌: وقت شناس باشی

Some people are just so important in our lives and we love them but as they are close and reachable we don't see and feel their value untill they get a little bit hard to get a hold of.

Melika and Bjorn moved to another place today.

I cried but I did not let her see it.

She had always been there for me,

with all the messes she was in, she was there with a smile and her smart comments and norm breaking ideas.

And then came Bjorn, with his good heart and kind, gentle attitude.

They cleaned the room and we took a picture in Melika's box under her bed!

I thank you for all your smiles, hugs and good words.

I thank you for your friendship.

And I wish you both the best luck ever!

He left at the begining of october and it took 100 days to rach to this explotion time...

Maybe he is right, who knows?

I was fascinated by some one and I asked a friend's opinion about him/her. This friend of mine is doing nothing but analysing and he just said: "He/She is so selfish and selfcentered."

Maybe that is why I felt so close to him/her.

Bjorn took these pictures from me yesterday. I wanted to have a picture with some friends who are in teh same buidling but all of them were sleeping at 10 in the evening de to some sleeping di orders we all suffer from these days.I like these photos. :)

Thank you min vän...

So today was another BirthDay!

Now it is over and I feel like writing down who called or sent me a message here in my blog.

Farideh, Ebi, Mitra, Maryam, Shahab, Anahita, Ellie, Dag, Rebecca, Shahryar, Giti, Mahya, Ariana, Taraneh, Elham, Yasaman, Shadi, Mohammad, Sally and Lorena called me,

Shaghayegh sent me an ecard,

Armin and Ahmad send me a message on mobile,

Hamed sent me a message on Facebook before I close it permenantly,

Andrea, Bernd, Nina, Mareike and Connie send me a message on StudiVZ,

Clover, Nasrin, Sam, Petr, Josef and Zita sent me an email.

Then Mehrnoosh cought me online and said happy birthday :)

Mariam and Mahya had left me messages online too.

Bjorn and Melika brought me to fika in Punkt and we had a great dinner togther.

Afshin and Baharak bought me a presant yesterday in clous ohlson and gave me a card which it is written: "Har forsokt att ringa..." on it. :)

I received a sweet email from a friend and felt like I want to share it with ones who I thought about on my birthday and I just sent it to them, it turned out to be a list of 125 people. :)

I think Birthday is a day like other days just that we have an excuse to do things that we don't do normally. Like giving presants to ones who we like or writing cards or saying words that we don't see any point to say in other days.

I would love to share two very sweet texts I received from Clover and Zita, I thought alot if I should post it here or not, but I decided taht these are mine now and I can do whatever I want with them.

It is not me and I don't mean saying I am like this, I just want to show how we can be sweet and say good things always but we are so in special occasions like ones Birthday.

:)

and what I want to add is:

1- I am thankful for my life, family and friends.

2- I will come back with a more serious post about birthday later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday my dearest friend!

Take good care of yourself and be true to your heart in 2010, you are a beautiful person and you make so many of us feel happy and at home.

Skött om dig, och tänk på vad du vill i livet.

Kram kram kram

Clovie

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Hi my dear!

Happy Birthday for you!

In my imagination I just go and say it personally.

I miss your closeness.

Hope this birthday will bring you all you want, clear decisions about what to do with who, where to go with who. You are so kind, I think that characteristic of you is not appreciated on its place. Because if we would have more people like you, the world would be a totally different, better place.

I am so glad to know you, and grateful for life that you call me friend.

Love you:

Zita

PS.: The drawing atteched comes with big heart, lots of emotions, small drawing knowledge : )

Why do we not believe the connection between souls?

HE gets sad I feel it but I ignor it or ask... no need for this nor for that.

Now I see taht I was not aware that it was my last post in 2009, but now jag vet att det är första i 2010.

kanske det är bättre om jag skriver på svenska för att nu känner jag till några svenska ord!

fortfarande känner jag mig illa och kunde jag inte konsentrera mig på studera men tänkte jag så mycket om livet och kärlek, om skolan och jobbet, om pengar och bostad, om kropet och själen.

Shahab said that I should become clear with my self instead of being worried about his telephone bill and this it so true. He is right! I am not clear with myself.

I know that once I was clear with myself but I am not sure if it can happen again.

I feel stressed and it makes it worse.

Vahid wrote me some comments. It was sweet. He reads my blog, I did not know.

And Baharak. She is leaving Sweden tomorrow. She is one of those "khosh'hal" poeple. There are so many people who critisize ones like Baharak but I am not sure if we should not be so.

I took some pictures from her just by her own camera and I am happy with some of them.

I think I will uppload some here.

Today Sepideh had made "NAZRI" and we ate it "DORE HAM".

And I deactivated my Facebook. :)
I feel even better taht the time I stopped using it.