Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do, (Roxette)

You are just too good to be true!

It sometimes scares me how good you are and how much I love you, what is in your dark side?

Do I need to know? or I just continue loving your bright side?

Being in love and keep being HERE and NOW is hard but pleasant...

It made me fly of joy, this noon, when putting my feet in the sun, looking at them and feeling 

         the same sun is shining on your skin,

                                  at the same exakt moment,
                                         somewhere on the same exact planet: 

                                                                                                 "Earth"

I love you from here to the moon and back!

You are like an angel, sent directly from heaven, with the mission of making me happy, proud, motivated and relaxed, feeling being appriciated and seen as the smart, strong, beautiful woman which I am.  

Thank you for being!

Am I really like the ones who make me angry?

I will calm down probably if I just take some deep breathes. but I kind of enjoy the energy it gives me (and takes from me) to be angry!

Am I really like the one who is frustrating me? Is there something in him/her which reminds me of myself? my own shortages? my desires? my dreams?

It makes me even more angry when I think about it like this...

We will see.

I think I miss myself a lot! 

To be in love

I feel deeply in love.

It is a warm feeling which squeezes my chest !

I have the urge to think about the love itself,

is it an attraction?
definately!

is it a feeling of wanting to have?
not at all!

is it a feeling of wanting all the good things for the other?
absolutely!

When one gets married, do we really mean to limit ourselves to just love one and only one for the rest of our lives?

I seriousely doubt it.

There should be a better explanation.

kär igen

به جهان خرم از آنم که جهان خرم از اوست
عاشقم بر همه عالم که همه عالم از اوست


I am merry with the one with Whom the world is merry 
I am in love with the whole universe 'cause the whole universe is from Him


Jag är kär... igen... och det ger mycket energi. 
Det är så gott att kunna spendera tid med den man älskar... 
titta på, lyssna på rösten och ibland känna värmen av kroppen genom att få eller ge en kram eller klappa på axeln...

Frågan är om den man är kär i måste veta om det... jag menar, måste jag berätta för hen att jag är kär?

grejen är att hos mig finns inga sexuella ambitioner. det är bara så gott att vara nära, lyssna på, titta på, göra saker tillsammans och skratta tillsammans... inga sexuella drömmar eller inga sug efter att ha hen... bara så gott med att umgås med en smart och rolig och enkel människa som är sig själv...

Jag vet inte om jag kommer att berätta för hen att jag är eller någon ha rvarit kär i hen... 

jag är kär i en enda människa just nu och det ger otroligt mycket energi och kraft. Tänk om man verkligen kunde öppna sitt hjärta och hjärna och bli kär i hela världen eftersom hela världen är en reflektion av Gud!

I am so blessed to be a mom

Dear God thank you very much for the greatest blessing in my life.
I am a mother. Schayan has shed light on Shahab and my life with his presence.
I know that we do not own him. He belongs to God and we just are blessed to serve him and nurse him and grow him. I am thankful for each and every second.

Dagens Reflektion ---> Dag 0

Förra veckan gick jag en kurs, modul 1 av en kurs som betår av fyra modular. Egentligen skulle jag vilja säga att jag påbörjade en process och inte gick bara en kurs...

Kursen heter "Vinnande ledarskap" eller "Leadership Excellence" på engelska, läraren heter Michael Södermalm och jag fick en Metal Coach som heter J. Ivarsson. Skriver inte hans förnamn eftersom jag vet inte om han vill bli nämnt på min blogg eller inte.

Vi fick lyssna på Mickes intressanta historier som innehöll budskap som hade att göra med kursinnehållet. vi fick även skriva ner var sin Master Plan som skulle hjälpa oss att kunna leda oss själva som är egentligen första steget i ledarskap enligt Micke.

Jag skulle vilja dela min Master Plan här och följa upp den även här genom mina dagliga reflektioner som blir blogginlägg i sin tur.

Mahgols Master Plan

1- Ta 30 days of challenge på allvar dvs "Jag får inte prata skit om mig själv eller någon annan på mitt jobb eller privat, jag får helst inte ens tänka negativa tankar men det är handlingen som räknas"

2- Sluta med socker helt (mån-fre)

3- Skriva ner dagens reflektion varje dag innan jag lägger mig

4- Träna oftare, börja med mnst en gång per vecka och utöka till 3 ggr/v

5- Göra "älska mig naken framför spegel" övningen minst 10 gånger tills modul 2 i april.

Jag önskar mig själv lycka till. 

:)

new old picture

The office is getting a new life after summer.

It was so depressing without all the colleagues. I think places which are used to be full of people are kinda scary when they are empty, like empty schools, empty streets and empty offices.

I was looking through my old pictures and found a happy Mahgol from one of our cold sunny hikings in Sweden.

I think I want to change my profile picture at work to this one, the one I have right now is very professional but cold, a bit far from what I would like to be interpreted as.

two similar movies

last weekend we have been watching two movies which turned to be very similar. one is called Hanna and the other was called Divergent. both of them are about abnormal girls and both movies started very nice and intresting but later it was akind of slow and started to feel like Vampire or any other kind of teenager movies. Good looking guys and nice action but I got disappointed by the fact that every thing went well at the end ... but amusing movies absolutely!
Now it is a lot of rain and we are happy because this will help against the fire in the woods in north of Västerås.

hiking in Norway

This was long ago since I wrote here and long ago since this picture was taken. But it reminds me of such a nice feeling, on the way to TrollTunga in Norway with a good group of people.
And I just decided to crop it and use it as my profile picture at Volvo network and then I needed to upload it somewhere and then I thought where is better than my blog?
So here you go:

and there is a smaller version just for Volvo.

Vinter i Sverige

Well, I can say that there has been a lot of movies recently. This blog does not have so many followers but it feels like a log book of my life which I can go back after a while and refresh old memories, things that look important here but after some weeks, months or years I even do not remember them.
such as the problems we got while they were changing our cupboards in the room and the wonderings we have about the month we are going to live without bathroom and kitchen in our apartment. I mean how hard can it be? There will still be warm rooms and electricity and our privacy between 17:00 and 7:00.
I think I am spoiled, this is needed to remind me of how good our situation is with safe home and good food, health and enough money.
Thank you God
for everything you have given us and all you have not.
Thank you for all we did not have you gave us afterwards and those we had and you got them back.
Help us to become better people. Our challenges are no more challenges of food and safety, none of survival kimd but mostly internal challenges facing ourselves and our weaknesses.
The plans I was talking about in the post from Vinter 2013 was:
finishing the thesis
loosing weight
and waking up early

I have achieved none of them and there is no real reason rather than the fact that I am lazy.
There is still hope to finish the thesis by this Wednesday and the weight project which has been on for the last 20 years is still on.
waking up early has been achieved with help of smaller dinner and the workers who start working with renovation at 6 in the morning...

Another Earth

I still have not posted any follow up on the post which I wrote almost one year a go announcing some challenges in my life. I will do it in January. I promise. but for now I want to do something I have been wanting to do for many years. writing about the movies we watch and the last one was last night:
Another Earth

Well, I rated it 5 afterwards in IMDB but it has got 6.6 from others so maybe it just was not my type. I guessed the ending in the minute 20 of the movie and it was qute diappointing when it turned out to be so. :)
Shahab has downloaded some other good movies which I will write about when we have watched it.
Besr Regards
Mahgol on the train to Göteborg

glädje

VÅRA nya glädje:

- Det finns plats för en hel vitkål i VÅRT kylskåp!
- All disk som VI diskar hålls rena tills VI använder de igen!
- VI har frukost i våra pyjamas!
- Vi har VÅRA bilder på kylskåpet.
- Badkar!
- Vår balkong!

Tack för allt.

soluppgång

Solen går upp och fåglarna dansar i fred.

Some weeks of Challenge

Hi
Shahab is in Iran. He had to go and I am here again. In our little home.
I have a couple of challenging weeks ahead. Some realistic goals are there and the intresting thing is that in a much shorter time than we expect it to be it all will be "long ago"! and when we read this post then this question is longer a question is a short statement with some long explanations.
Did I suceed with my goals which are clear and tangible?
We will see soon.
Are you eager to know? Sorry. I will just list them in the blog when we are in the future.
BR
Mahgol

What matters and What does not matter

It took me a long time but now I know the trick..
It actually does not matter what I want or what I like.
Who am I?
Now I see what he meant by saying that I look at myself as the center of the world.
The trick is raising "human" independently from his/her believes.
And I look back and find my old isalmic trainings the best fitting in my incomplete puzzle.
The role of God and our relation with him in our lives is maybe all.

Running again
Finally after a long time of struggling and planning with help of Zarina! We ran.
It feels so good.
lets see how the maintenance will procceed.
Love and Peace
I have missed Clover.
Mahgol

a self which the WORL rotates arount its majesty!

These days my head is full of sounds, pictures, visions, noises and smells...
It feels like the values I used to respect sincerely are getting more adn more pale and I am becoming a worse and worse person. An egoistic person with lots of unuseful thoughts.
I think I should go back to my old traditional way of self rehabitation.
Looking forward to recieve some lovely guests in July and Agusut.
Let's see if the delayed train of summer will reach Västerås some time.
Hugs
Mahgol

Den här posten är inte första som jag tänkte börja så:Det var länge sen jag skrev här...Men så är livet idag.
Jag "jobbade" innan jul och mellandagar och sen åkte jag till IRAN slutet av januari.Mamman, pappan, Mariam och Mahya, Shahab, Shadi, svärmor, Kalagh och Pouria, alla var där när jag kom ur från terminalen.Det var roligt. Mycket kärlek och glädje.Jag fick opererar mina halsmandel och fixa grundligt två tänder och därför fick jag stanna en vecka till vilket gjörde mig nervos först men sen när jag skrev till min chef, han var jätte snäll och det kändes hur bra som helst när jag såg att han förstör situationen.min arbetskamrader var också snälla. Ulrika hjälpte så mycket som hon kunde och jag fick en welcome note på mitt skrivbord när jag kom tillbaks.Det finns Capoeira på måndagar, onsdagar och söndagar. Träningsverk är tillbaks!Jag har bestämmd mig att gå dit även om jag inte orkar träna. Jens, Daniel, andra Daniel och Niklas har varit där så länge.Shahab stannade i Iran eftersom han har lite grejer att fixa där. Nu är det tomt i våra lilla lägenhet men så är livet jag har klarat mig utan him i fyra år, jag är stark och klarar mig ett tag till.Jag känner mig lite förkyld. efter operationen det känns som mina örön har blivit lite mer känsliga. Jag måste täcka dem annars blir de smärtsam.
Jobbet ska bli roligare eftersom Tomas kommer och det ska hända grejer. Överlämningen och nya uppdrag och ...Jag missade mindfullness utbildningen och jag får inte försätta men Christian sa att det kan hända att vi kör en värv till! :)Troligen är jag med på högvärv i Västerås och Eskilstuna som VIT representant och det blir roligt hoppas jag.
Idag ska jag till nya studentens Mingel Evening och det var Romain som bjöd mig och Shahab men jag ska ensam eftersom det är lite för långt för Shahab att komma hit ikväll.goollleye namak shodam...
Jag onskar love and peace to you allIt feels more and more that it is not we who makes everything happen but a much more clever, kind and powerful force whom I am proud to call God.

Hi to you who cares and readds or is just nosy and wants to know what's up.
It has been more than one month taht I am working here at Volvo IT "near" Eskilstuna.
Many many nice people who sit infront, on the right, on the left and behind me.
:)
I want ot talk to them and laugh and say out all th ejokes which come sto my mind but this fucking language problem is always there.
I am so afraid to say something wrong and hurt somebody.
It feels lik eit is going ot take a long time before I feel inside and people do not look at me as an outsider.
But I am familiar with this situation. I completely understand them. If someone just sits there and says nothing... ooof who wants a creepy company.
If there is something to do then time goes very fast but if there is not so much to do it feels like the clocks have slept deep in this cold.
the trip to Iran is planned. I will celebrate my birthday with my family after three years.
Mitra went on ansoline and I have gained 10 kilos and thre is this connection in between taht she is so worried about me to get Diabetees and so am I.
But I will start Capoeira again after we come back from Iran.
Love and Peace to all
Mahgol (MAL)

WOW!

It has been five months since I wrote here last.

It has been such a chaotic five months. lots of missings. I miss Mitra, Ahmad, Maryam and Mahya and no one else.

It feels like I wake up with them and say goodnight to them and then it starts all the dreams about them. One night I was going to school with Maryam. The small details of the street we used to walk in spring, autumn and winter.

The other night it is my mom who is cooking food and asks me to watch the frying onions while she goes to the bathroom. And my father is sitting there at his desk, he has his glasses on and is reading a book. I go there and he looks at me above his glasses and asks me: "Kari dari baba?"

And Mahya is there in her room, I pass by and she smiles to me with her natural pink lips...

I was in Iran last year in the end of May and I will start working in four days. From Monday it is not just a matter of price of ticket and if my thesis is finished or not to organize a trip to HOME but it is also a lot of other things involved such as vacations and holidays and visa and ...

Any way...

Life is good, it actually is very good and I have promised my self to be strong.

A lot of daily receipts I have to register in our Excel file which is like a cost control thingy for our small family and I am excited about the movie we are going to watch tomorrow.

It will be the first 3D movie shown in Electra which is a kind of intellectual cinema in Västerås.

The movie is called Pina

http://www.elektrabio.se/filmer/visningar/21-27-okt/pina

I promise to be back and write more here. I am sure I want to record my first experiences at work.

Love and Peace to the world

Mahgol