Running again
Finally after a long time of struggling and planning with help of Zarina! We ran.
It feels so good.
lets see how the maintenance will procceed.
Love and Peace
I have missed Clover.
Mahgol

a self which the WORL rotates arount its majesty!

These days my head is full of sounds, pictures, visions, noises and smells...
It feels like the values I used to respect sincerely are getting more adn more pale and I am becoming a worse and worse person. An egoistic person with lots of unuseful thoughts.
I think I should go back to my old traditional way of self rehabitation.
Looking forward to recieve some lovely guests in July and Agusut.
Let's see if the delayed train of summer will reach Västerås some time.
Hugs
Mahgol

Den här posten är inte första som jag tänkte börja så:Det var länge sen jag skrev här...Men så är livet idag.
Jag "jobbade" innan jul och mellandagar och sen åkte jag till IRAN slutet av januari.Mamman, pappan, Mariam och Mahya, Shahab, Shadi, svärmor, Kalagh och Pouria, alla var där när jag kom ur från terminalen.Det var roligt. Mycket kärlek och glädje.Jag fick opererar mina halsmandel och fixa grundligt två tänder och därför fick jag stanna en vecka till vilket gjörde mig nervos först men sen när jag skrev till min chef, han var jätte snäll och det kändes hur bra som helst när jag såg att han förstör situationen.min arbetskamrader var också snälla. Ulrika hjälpte så mycket som hon kunde och jag fick en welcome note på mitt skrivbord när jag kom tillbaks.Det finns Capoeira på måndagar, onsdagar och söndagar. Träningsverk är tillbaks!Jag har bestämmd mig att gå dit även om jag inte orkar träna. Jens, Daniel, andra Daniel och Niklas har varit där så länge.Shahab stannade i Iran eftersom han har lite grejer att fixa där. Nu är det tomt i våra lilla lägenhet men så är livet jag har klarat mig utan him i fyra år, jag är stark och klarar mig ett tag till.Jag känner mig lite förkyld. efter operationen det känns som mina örön har blivit lite mer känsliga. Jag måste täcka dem annars blir de smärtsam.
Jobbet ska bli roligare eftersom Tomas kommer och det ska hända grejer. Överlämningen och nya uppdrag och ...Jag missade mindfullness utbildningen och jag får inte försätta men Christian sa att det kan hända att vi kör en värv till! :)Troligen är jag med på högvärv i Västerås och Eskilstuna som VIT representant och det blir roligt hoppas jag.
Idag ska jag till nya studentens Mingel Evening och det var Romain som bjöd mig och Shahab men jag ska ensam eftersom det är lite för långt för Shahab att komma hit ikväll.goollleye namak shodam...
Jag onskar love and peace to you allIt feels more and more that it is not we who makes everything happen but a much more clever, kind and powerful force whom I am proud to call God.

Hi to you who cares and readds or is just nosy and wants to know what's up.
It has been more than one month taht I am working here at Volvo IT "near" Eskilstuna.
Many many nice people who sit infront, on the right, on the left and behind me.
:)
I want ot talk to them and laugh and say out all th ejokes which come sto my mind but this fucking language problem is always there.
I am so afraid to say something wrong and hurt somebody.
It feels lik eit is going ot take a long time before I feel inside and people do not look at me as an outsider.
But I am familiar with this situation. I completely understand them. If someone just sits there and says nothing... ooof who wants a creepy company.
If there is something to do then time goes very fast but if there is not so much to do it feels like the clocks have slept deep in this cold.
the trip to Iran is planned. I will celebrate my birthday with my family after three years.
Mitra went on ansoline and I have gained 10 kilos and thre is this connection in between taht she is so worried about me to get Diabetees and so am I.
But I will start Capoeira again after we come back from Iran.
Love and Peace to all
Mahgol (MAL)

WOW!

It has been five months since I wrote here last.

It has been such a chaotic five months. lots of missings. I miss Mitra, Ahmad, Maryam and Mahya and no one else.

It feels like I wake up with them and say goodnight to them and then it starts all the dreams about them. One night I was going to school with Maryam. The small details of the street we used to walk in spring, autumn and winter.

The other night it is my mom who is cooking food and asks me to watch the frying onions while she goes to the bathroom. And my father is sitting there at his desk, he has his glasses on and is reading a book. I go there and he looks at me above his glasses and asks me: "Kari dari baba?"

And Mahya is there in her room, I pass by and she smiles to me with her natural pink lips...

I was in Iran last year in the end of May and I will start working in four days. From Monday it is not just a matter of price of ticket and if my thesis is finished or not to organize a trip to HOME but it is also a lot of other things involved such as vacations and holidays and visa and ...

Any way...

Life is good, it actually is very good and I have promised my self to be strong.

A lot of daily receipts I have to register in our Excel file which is like a cost control thingy for our small family and I am excited about the movie we are going to watch tomorrow.

It will be the first 3D movie shown in Electra which is a kind of intellectual cinema in Västerås.

The movie is called Pina

http://www.elektrabio.se/filmer/visningar/21-27-okt/pina

I promise to be back and write more here. I am sure I want to record my first experiences at work.

Love and Peace to the world

Mahgol

The lamps at the back of the student union in the parking place shake behind a layer of tears...

I miss your eyes

I miss your voice

I miss your smile

I miss your arms

I miss your being

I want to be close to you.

I want to talk to you.

Sun is shining but it hurts, you are not here to enjoy with me.

Trees are blossoming and it seems so short since when you come back there are just old leaves left.

People smile and try to get me smile; they don't know it is lost somewhere in the last Saturday on the way to Stockholm.

But I am not deeply sad, I know there are springs and summers coming in which we will be together, side by side and hand in had celebrate the nature waking up.

This room it too quite without you and so is my heart.

Hon är på väg till ett nytt liv.

Jag kommer o sakna henne...

det var roligt o se henne minst en gång i veckan de senaste veckorna.

Det blev så att jag trodde inte att hon skulle flytta på riktigt tills imorse, när jag såg henne som gick mot stationen med en ryggsak och en stor väska...

Nu är hon klar här med Vås.

Ditt liv är som en dröm. Du får njuta så mycket som möjligt doost e khoob e man!

Yours Sincerely

Divooneh

I have always told you that white suits you my sweetheart,

What do you find more than Snow in this land?

.

.

.

How joyful can it be to look at your love, sleeping in peace

with a light smile on his face...

.

.

.

God! Thank you thousand thousand times!

WoW, It has been long ago I wrote here...

I have some short important news to give you...

11th of December, our waitings ended after 3 years... No wait, 8 years since we decided to live together...

Shahab came here.

18th of December we went to an Iranian party and had a good time together.

24th at the Christmas evening we went to Anton and Margaryta with Zarina and enjoyed ourselves as always.

And then: Happy New Year! :)

The first New Year with my sweetheart beside me, looking at the fire works with Constance, Melika and Bjorn at the Västerås city ringen.

4th of Jan was my Birthday and we had a fika with Bijan, Soudabeh, Sepideh, Melika and Bjorn.

Shahab has started learning Swedish. He is repeating the numbers while writing his home works.

It looks like Shahab like my friends and they like him as well. I hope he does not feel himself alone far from his gang in Iran.

I thank God every second... It feels like I have the kindest creature here by my side.

Life is even more colorful...

I will be writing more about the new feelings soon.

Untill then as Ofakin says: stay blessed

p.s. I think about you my little Nomin when ever I write a new post. Hej på dig!

If you stand at a corner of the street or just near the entrance of your building, (if you don't have a big lamp there), and look at the sky, watch the birds, smell the flowers, eat snow or just take some deep breath you will be considered as crazy and weird

BUT

as soon as they see a light between your fingers, you have a very good excuse:

You are just smoking!

we humans are strange!

Hej...
Here I am sitting at Janes, sorry Batus desk with a nice view of snow from the window, enjoying my tea with a bite of Tobrelone. The last two days has been busy in Lidl. 18 hours of work in two working days. But the pauses I take with tea in my hand and biscuit/chocolate thingy in my pocket looking at the snow and cars sliding on icy ways has been so relaxing.
I am working on Incubators again. It sounds still interesting. Maybe I should have never stopped working on them. This topic has been in the back of my mind for the last two years.
Back to work
Love and Peace to you and me
p.s. picture from womans health

It smells like flower in my room.

My mom is sleeping on my bed.

It feels so amazing having her here.

She is just calmness and strenght and it just flows in me when she is beside me.

I don't know if all parents are the same, but I can say it about mine.

It has been so wonderful the last 8 days with her. it has gone so fast...

She will leave Sweden tomorrow . . .

And I will be alone here again. Life will be the same as past.

We are going to watch a ballet show in Stockholm and visit Firouzeh in Täby.

I got a fixed number so that my family can call me easier and with a more rational price.

Lets hope that the weather is good today in Stockholm...

Aha one more news, I am not a fadder any more.

Not an official one, nut I will try to help new students as much as I can.

Love and Peace to you and my mom and my family...

Sooooo

It has been long ago since I wrote.

Finally a calm vening followed by a good sleep and waking up by Expert's call about comhem abonemang and a morning of watching some dokumentärs and sience programmes.

Later todaz I will swim and work and make a good dinner for myself.

I t is amazing how we get higher performance when there is more demand from life. I think I should be always asked or expected to do something not to get lazy and be productive.

The exam was not like those old time exams that I was 100 percent sure about all teh eanswers but with help of Neda jag klarade mig.

Momi is coming here to visit me and I am soooo happy about it. I have already started planning her stay and contacted my friends who I wish her to visit them or they want to meet her.

It is cold outside but to keep in warm inside does not have anything to do with temperaturen!

Love and peace to you all and to myself

It got cold and I felt so deeply alone,

again.

.

.

.

"friend", "old friend", "good friend",

shined like a star in my dark night.

.

.

.

I called your name,

you turned and looked at me. . .

There was nothing in your kind eyes.

No doubt,

you are friend,

you are old friend,

you are good friend.

but,

It is another down like the other downs, which I rolled or climbed or just fell on my own.

I do it again and again. The call I mean and the hope and disappointment which follows with no hesitation.

It is not supposed to be any company in these ups and downs.

It is life and it is my life.

He who is chasing me with his eyes all the time is sitting just over there feeling the same probably as I do about the one.

I hear his voice and there is a big sorrow in my heart that makes my eyes wet.

No single day has passed without thinking about him and wishing to see him.

How is it possible that I pick his voice among so many people talking and shouting in so many different languages.

It is so cold here.

Life is strange and so is love...

Soon I will be off to France.

I can not stop waiting to see and hug my mom. God I have missed her.

It is also a great pleassure to meet my aunts and cousines.

The Norway trip was amazingly good! Though I twised my ankle and it still hurts.

There was another Stochastical Proccess test and I think I wrote this one correct too but we will see if I face the red "not solved" sign from dear Anatoly.

I still feel good about sharing with Jane and it is a little bit tight with Constance but it is so good to have her around specially when she is so tidy and clean though I would never guess! :)

Next trip Croacia!

Looks like a perfect place to go in April. Hopefully, Czech guys will follow too. Maybe Sam can come as well. would be perfect. By that time Shahab must be here too.

From travel mates to Norway I got to know Walter and Bruno more and I really like them.

Okej I dont feel like writing more. Lets keep more for later.

Love and hope to all

It has been long go since I wrote. I have not written since I moved to my new place.

This is a new experience, sharing with a friend.

I think itwould be hard if Jane was not so nice and flexible and easygoing.

I enjoy everymoment of it.

I am regreting why did I not do it sooner.

I always believed that we are herd animals or in nicer words, we need company, maybe that is why deppression is so huge! People are getting mroe and more egoistic and "needing thei own space!".

Why don't poor people living in a small house with several other families get deppressed? :)

Anyways.

Life is getting mroe and more on its track!

After the first test, the first hiking and the visa which got issued finally.

Melika is back and Constance will be soon.

Clover has things is control and I am eating in a good routine after three years of eating garbage!

Thanks to Jane!

This semester my ears miss Capoeira live music my shoulders miss tapps from capoeiristas in trainings and my palms miss high fives from Jens and others.

My eyes miss their eyes locked on mine in Roda.

I miss the training pains in my muscles and the restlessness after hard trainings.

Tango is cancelled too.

It feels much more like an ordinary "LIFE"!

Sacrificing what you like for other things you like to have in future.

The room is basically furnished from what others did not need anymore and presants I have received.

If you are curious about life at Lidl! I should say that as always it is so much dependant on people for me!

If Anders is happy, Marcus is smiling, Edgar is joking or Pernilla's eyes shine, Stefan's eyes don't have bags under them, I am happy. Anna is away to Thailand, Patrik is sick after the vacation he got and Linus is too new to be ble to say something about him.

but he is so friendly and sweet as well.

I try to be honest and friendly. It is hard with the language. Maybe on of the sweetest times at work is when you work in the shop to make it tidy and get rid of the extra packages then you have some time to talk with each other or when you work in the storage room or count the cashier but even then, I am too tired to kepp up with Swedish and they are too tired to talk in English.

Anyway it is like always I look in them and see kids! Playful and happy.

i specially like Anders so much. I think he is a very good human being. He should be very playful in his world. I don't know how I came to this conclusion so don't ask! :)

I have heard from several people that Swedes look nice but they talk behind your back alot and kind of ruin your reputation but I am not even worried about it because I just don't believe in that being worried helps. I am just myself and the worst taht can happen is loosing a job but I hope I can keep friends and be a good person.

The governmental ellection is close and I have the right to vote for our state! It is funny all of them have somethings that are good and some points that are not so it is not taht easy to decide but I hope to come to a conclusion soon.

I had four plants that I loved most among my plants and I gave them away to Tanja, Christian and Krista!

I gave two Orkides to Tanja to thank for her kindness and generousity. I gave one of those that we planned with Sam in 2007 to Christian because I like him so much and I wanted him to have something that has got a lot of love from me and I gave the other one to Krista and Stefan because they moved in and I think they deserve having my lovely plant.

Mitra is coming to Europe on 23rd and I am going to visit her hopefully between 4th and 12th of October in France. I am so excited about it. I was hoping that Shahab can follow as well but it does not look like his visa will be issued by then.

Aniko is back in Sweden, looking for job.

These days everybody is kind of searching for a stability and the political parties have used it a lot to do advertisement for themselves.

I have the first gym training tomorrow at seven and it will be a long day. So need to get some rest makes me say bye and wish you sweet sweet dreams.

Love and Peace to all

Maybe today was one of the most beautiful days in last three weeks and I stayed teh whole day at home wondering about so many things that there was actually no need to take up today...

I should not rush in anything and it is so much against my nature but when I get stressed I can not avoid it.

Mohammad Nouri died and my mom said nothing about it when we talked.

We went out yesterday with my "friends" and there was a girl that all of them knew her but me!

They had had dinner together and ... and none of them said a word to me.

I flet like they don't want my company and I kind of understand them.

Even today I did not go for the dinner I was invited to fast jag

hade inte lovad att jag går.

Sun is setting at qvarter past eight and it is shining through the living room in Tanja and Liza's apartment and we just finished dinner and are waiting for the tea.

They talked with Tanja's mom and grandmo and it is so nice to listen to a language that I can not pick even one word!

I wish I ad a camera, I could take good pictures from

Tanja and Liza.

Laughing without any reason and Liza talking with me and coming to my room without any real reason is a ood sign of getting integrated in their small cozy family.

Locky is going around smelling at everything, leaving pälls overallt.

Clover comes back tomorrow, Afshinis in Stockholm, I talked to Firouzeh, I tried to call Sam several times and family stuff in Tehran are kind of getting more and more complicated not for me but for me!

Does not make sense for you? sorry I can not explain m

ore! This part is one of those parts I write for myself and myself.

I gonna miss this place when I move out! I wish they had an extra room i could rent and live with them.

By the way after the two dreams I had two nights in a row about my uncle Ali, I tried to call him but he did not pick up. Miss my family...

next week is a day ful of exams and work and meetings...

Let c how am Igonna make this through.

Love and peace to me and to you and to all the world.

May God bless us in these nice period of time.

I just checked my blog if I have written about the lady in yellow who paid for my parking and did not expect any thing in return and yes I had done it.

It might feel desperate but such people and such things have become rare!

yesterday finally I saw some smile on the face of my colleague Fredrik.

I got a BIG, better to say huge! Squash from Pelle who is working in the farm me and Clover also have a piece of land and Te whole last week I have been wondering how nice some one can be and this some one is Tatjana, my former teacher and current friend.

She is so pure, friendly, nice and ... but I have been thinking how hard has it been to know her. I never thought she was bad or mean but could never guess she is so nice niether.

She is shy and not so talkative.

I am staying in their apartment and she has moved to her daughter's room and left her room to me. They wait for me to wake up and have breakfast and she does not move any thing I put somewhere in case I wanted to have it there or ....

It is just soooo nice and I don't know if I deserve it or not.

I talked with Siavash after a loooong period and it felt so good to see old friends are always close friends even if you don't meet or talk for a long time.

The interview is getting even closer than we expected it and we are looking forward.

Yesterday we went swimming with Constance, Julian and Liza and it was so good to be in motion again!

:)

This morning the sun was shining and promised Liza to go out but now it realy looks ready to rain but one should keep ens ord!

:)

Love and peace to you all

MahgoL

p.s. I found these pictures on Saba Soltanzadeh's page. We used to go to the same class when I was 8!

it is not so hard to find me, almost the same face and be revayati the same brain! :)

In Sweden, summer is like a long shock!
It is soon over.
Constance is back, Clover will be back, Tanja is back, school is getting a new life from the students who are getting to do re-exams in the middle of the August and the staff who are getting ready to receive new students.
The wind, early and earlier sunsets and the special smell in the air!
The rain coat hanging to my bag as a security shield :)
I read a nice sentence today:
Birth and death are not in your hands but you can choose to LIVE in between these two.
I am in a constant attempt to get closer to my colleagues in Lidl, for it is the only way I can enjoy working and that is one of the requirements of enjoying life.
This is a good one too.
Var så goda!
:)
p.s. it means: forgive the others, not just because they deserve your forgiveness but also because you deserve this calmness.